In today's day and age, it seems like there is a certain criteria that men have to meet in order to be deemed "datable." A few things that commonly appear on a woman's list of "Must-Haves" for their potential partner are things like: height - typically tall, weight - typically slim, build - typically muscular, facial hair - rugged but not too rugged, and way of dressing - classy stylish, but not to the extent that it veers toward feminine. As ridiculous as that list of things seems on paper, it is the shallow mindset that many women have when looking at the "eligible bachelors" around them.
Here's a hint: Stop putting a man's value and status in his outward appearance.
Not once have I developed a liking for a man that was based on him being stereotypically handsome, and (surprise!) I have gotten to know some really amazing people.
From a young age, I wanted something more than (literal) face-value. I always valued a man's mind and his sense of humor and the things that make him who he is inside, rather than who he is when he looks in the mirror. I wanted someone who could make my laugh with his goofy antics, as well as challenge me in what I knew. I didn't want a trophy that I could sit on a shelf and admire for it's beauty. I wanted something that was real and malleable. I wanted a real and whole person, not just a pretty exterior.
Spoiler Alert: Men aren't just things to admire. They're actually real people.
Men are just as real as women. They have thoughts, emotions, desires, dreams, passions and wishes. They are more than media plays them to be; they're not neanderthals who run around with a football, play in the mud, or work on cars. They cry and laugh and want to be loved.
It is 2018 and it is time for people to start looking at the innerworkings of people, rather than how "cute" they are. Cuteness is nice at first, but basing a relationship purely on how cute you perceive the other person to be is destined to fail. What about laughter and fun and an actual connection? It makes no sense.
I gave up actively looking for someone to fall in love with, and you know what? It just kind of happened. I met someone I genuinely liked. They were goofy, forgiving, carefree, and kind, all things that overshadowed outward appearance. I'm not saying that giving up is the ultimate answer here, either. I'm saying that rather than looking for a cute boyfriend, look for a man you can spend the rest of your life with.
Look for someone that will support you when you are at your lowest and vice versa. Look for someone you can balance bills, make ends meet, and explore the world with. Don't find someone with a beautiful face, find someone with a beautiful soul, and the rest will fall into place. That much I can promise you.
