Why Men Feel As If They Own Women's Space And How To Take It Back

Why Men Feel As If They Own Women's Space And How To Take It Back

You can't always blame the man because it's been conditioned into them.
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Men these days don't see the power they have over women. I'm going to tell y'all a story about, let's call him Cam, and how he felt he had more rights to my space that I did.

I was sitting in class and Cam was sitting on the complete opposite side. I heard rumors about him being very pushy and forward, but hadn't experienced it myself, so I kept a pretty neutral opinion of him, until my professors assigned us partners to work with. I got assigned to work with Cam for the rest of the class. So I looked to see if he was going to come to me (I had space next to me) but he didn't move, so I got up to got to him (nbd). I sit next to him and begin to start on our assignment, to which he barely participates in. And honestly, that worked for me because I am an independent worker anyways.

So, there I am sitting there doing the assignment when he moves his arm onto my desk. I was perplexed, but studies show men feel entitled to more space than women so I brushed it off. His arm wasn't really bothering me...except it was. Why are you on my desk, in my space? I thought it to be very rude and scooched my desk over, trying to be subtle. Nope, it did nothing. Then he begins to stare at me, odd behavior yes, but not a crime. I brush my hair (which luckily is super thick and long) over my shoulder to hide my face. He then has the audacity to move my hair out of my face. He touched my hair without permission. He was on my desk without permission. He begins hitting on me, even with all my fuck off signals. When he touched my hair I told him not to touch me. He was like, "but you're so pretty, I just wanted to see you."

Here's the problem, my teachers also saw him doing all this stuff...and did nothing to help me. They did nothing but stare. I was on the very edge of my seat, leaning away and they made me sit by him for the rest of the class. I even complained to a friend, after class in front of them. They still did nothing.

And what can I do? Nothing. Because men feel as if they have more rights over space and your own body than you do.

Men feel as though they have more rights over my space (a woman's space) than I do. It's crazy. You can't even always blame the man because it's been conditioned into them. I have to tell my boyfriend ALL the time that he's being domineering. He gets so upset and apologizes. He doesn't even realize it until I point it out though. Cam wouldn't care if I pointed it out. My boyfriend does because he says it helps him grow and learn as a person and as a man, but not all men care about learning and women's experience.

And I know what guys are going to say...not all men do what you are describing, but here's a new fun fact for you.

It's all women.

Every single one of us had or will have an experience like this, where men try to dominate you. They try to make you passive. And sadly, I fell into it with Cam. I didn't make a scene. or correct him like I did with my boyfriend. Even the next day, when Cam ran to catch up with me and talk to me, I just walked slightly ahead, silent. I wish I would've told him that he was walking too close, that he was invading my personal space. But I didn't.

So here's my thesis or point of this whole story...act against this kind of behavior. I promise you when I see him next and he's getting in my space, I'll tell him and explain why it's wrong. I won't be passive, I'll be active and I'll stand up for myself, taking my space and body back.

No man will ever make me feel small, choice-less, and less than him again. It already happened with a boy a few years ago, I won't continue to let Cam make me feel like that.

And neither should you, because women are equal and deserve just as much as men, and that includes space.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

If your man can rock the dad bod, he's a keeper.

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In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod.

Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod.

After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.


So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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What is love, Like, Honestly?

Does love actually exist? Or does it not exist for me?

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You know, I really thought that once I shot my shot, things would be different. LMAO WAS I WRONG ABOUT THAT. I mean, I shouldn't have just assumed that things would be automatically different and he'd fall in love with me; shoot, that's crazy. But I was hoping that he would have been flattered enough to see that a really cute girl like myself thinks a guy like him is super cute, If this situation was flipped, I would be hella flattered. I should have known better; I can't believe I actually thought this time would be different than the other times. I just don't think I could ever let this go.

Most people I talked to tell me that "Boys love that confidence shit" and to "Go for it because YOLO." I should have never listened. It's not like I struck out or anything; I still am talking to him, but God knows for how much longer. Excuse me for being cheesy, I do realize I'm only 18 and almost 19, but I think I found the guy I want to be my first boyfriend and I'd do whatever I can do to make this happen. Also, before anyone says anything like, "Just leave him be, he doesn't like you" or something along those lines, that statement is far from the truth. He does in fact have an interest in me and would love to get to know me better but the distance we have between is the key factor as to why I still haven't met the guy.

It just feels like I'll never find anyone. If I'm struggling so much now, I'm starting to question what's going to happy in the future. I stopped looking a long time ago and wanted to focus on myself but that's exactly when he fell into my lap. Everyone always says, the moment you stop looking is when someone will "run into you." Well, here I am, and I can't seem to move on even though we've talked on and off. I wish he lived closer and I wish I never met him. This is the main reason I start to question if "love" even exists, it seems like everyone these days is in a relationship with someone or even talking to someone in hopes of a romance blooming, and here's single old me sitting and listening to love songs and dreaming of the moment I meet my prince charming. I'm such a hopeless romantic, which attributes to me questioning love and if I'll ever find it or even come across it.

It doesn't just have to be love from a boyfriend or something, it can be from my parents and friends, too. Sometimes I can't help but think that they don't love me even though I know they do and I'm crazy for even thinking that they hate me. It's just the dark place my mind takes me to and there's no escape once I'm in there. I should probably just focus on myself, but that's so hard when you're working or out somewhere and a cute guy is around and you can't help but swoon. Or if they call you cute, you literally melt inside. Is that just me or does everyone feel the same way? Asking for a friend. Every time this boy says I'm cute I literally start to hyperventilate and I need to go and take a breather and come back and reply. I'm not used to these kinds of comments coming from the male species except for my dad, but that's my dad. All my friends tell me I'm pretty and what not and I believe them (LMAO for the most part until I look in the mirror and I'm like ew who is that) and I feel confident, but there's a different type of confidence that comes when a boy you think is cute calls you cute and you're left feeling a type of way. Ya feel me?

But seriously though, can someone please tell me what love is? I have two (I'm probably going to make a third) playlists on Spotify called "What is Love?" and "What is Love? Part II" with songs reminding me of the guys who broke my heart before I even legitimately gave it to them.

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