Why Men Feel As If They Own Women's Space And How To Take It Back

Why Men Feel As If They Own Women's Space And How To Take It Back

You can't always blame the man because it's been conditioned into them.
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Men these days don't see the power they have over women. I'm going to tell y'all a story about, let's call him Cam, and how he felt he had more rights to my space that I did.

I was sitting in class and Cam was sitting on the complete opposite side. I heard rumors about him being very pushy and forward, but hadn't experienced it myself, so I kept a pretty neutral opinion of him, until my professors assigned us partners to work with. I got assigned to work with Cam for the rest of the class. So I looked to see if he was going to come to me (I had space next to me) but he didn't move, so I got up to got to him (nbd). I sit next to him and begin to start on our assignment, to which he barely participates in. And honestly, that worked for me because I am an independent worker anyways.

So, there I am sitting there doing the assignment when he moves his arm onto my desk. I was perplexed, but studies show men feel entitled to more space than women so I brushed it off. His arm wasn't really bothering me...except it was. Why are you on my desk, in my space? I thought it to be very rude and scooched my desk over, trying to be subtle. Nope, it did nothing. Then he begins to stare at me, odd behavior yes, but not a crime. I brush my hair (which luckily is super thick and long) over my shoulder to hide my face. He then has the audacity to move my hair out of my face. He touched my hair without permission. He was on my desk without permission. He begins hitting on me, even with all my fuck off signals. When he touched my hair I told him not to touch me. He was like, "but you're so pretty, I just wanted to see you."

Here's the problem, my teachers also saw him doing all this stuff...and did nothing to help me. They did nothing but stare. I was on the very edge of my seat, leaning away and they made me sit by him for the rest of the class. I even complained to a friend, after class in front of them. They still did nothing.

And what can I do? Nothing. Because men feel as if they have more rights over space and your own body than you do.

Men feel as though they have more rights over my space (a woman's space) than I do. It's crazy. You can't even always blame the man because it's been conditioned into them. I have to tell my boyfriend ALL the time that he's being domineering. He gets so upset and apologizes. He doesn't even realize it until I point it out though. Cam wouldn't care if I pointed it out. My boyfriend does because he says it helps him grow and learn as a person and as a man, but not all men care about learning and women's experience.

And I know what guys are going to say...not all men do what you are describing, but here's a new fun fact for you.

It's all women.

Every single one of us had or will have an experience like this, where men try to dominate you. They try to make you passive. And sadly, I fell into it with Cam. I didn't make a scene. or correct him like I did with my boyfriend. Even the next day, when Cam ran to catch up with me and talk to me, I just walked slightly ahead, silent. I wish I would've told him that he was walking too close, that he was invading my personal space. But I didn't.

So here's my thesis or point of this whole story...act against this kind of behavior. I promise you when I see him next and he's getting in my space, I'll tell him and explain why it's wrong. I won't be passive, I'll be active and I'll stand up for myself, taking my space and body back.

No man will ever make me feel small, choice-less, and less than him again. It already happened with a boy a few years ago, I won't continue to let Cam make me feel like that.

And neither should you, because women are equal and deserve just as much as men, and that includes space.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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After 57 Years Of Marriage, My Grandma And Grandpa Are The Real "Relationship Goals"

Their hearts are completely devoted to the Lord our Savior.
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Valentine's Day. The National Day of Love (as some might call it) has come and left us so quickly. As many took those twenty-four hours to display their love and affection to their special someone, I utilized it as an opportunity to reflect on all the wonderful relationships that surround me.

I am so grateful to observe several romantic relationships in my life that thus cause my future standards to be set much higher. For instance, my mother and father, brother and sister-in-law, and grandma and grandpa all share romantic relationships that set the standards very high.

However, when I was considering all the people in my life that have built these sort of marriages, I couldn't help but think about the ones who established this all: my grandparents.

As I compose this article, I simply can't stop smiling due to how beautiful their relationship actually is. Therefore, I'm excited to further explain why my grandma and grandpa are the real "relationship goals."

So first off, my grandma and grandpa are two of the sweetest humans that live on this earth. Their hearts are completely devoted to our Lord and Savior Himself. Their relationship has solely been established by God, and as they have grown together as a couple, they have also grown closer to the Lord.

Especially as they are progressing in age, I observe how their religious practices are at the center of their relationship, which is something so many admire.

My grandparents have also taken the sacrificial steps to ensure that each other are both content in the relationship. My grandma always inquires about how my grandpa is doing and if there is anything that she can assist him with. This love is reciprocated when my grandpa asks/does similar things to make sure that my grandma is pleased.

Upon visiting them, I can definitely see that their love is deep and never-ending. They will continue to be there for one another in times of need and when life provides them with high spirits.

Finally, my grandma and grandpa share a relationship that was built off of their strong foundation of friendship. My grandparents met through some mutual friends that allowed for them to get to know one another in a more casual manner. They were able to truly value one another because of their unique attributes and thus build a romantic relationship on top of their friendship.

There are so many relationships that obtain great value in my eyes; however, nothing truly compares to the deep love that my grandma and grandpa share.

Cover Image Credit: Every Pixel

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Why it’s Okay that Love Isn’t Always Enough

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Are you fully invested in a relationship that seems to have some overwhelming negatives? Is it evident that you both love and care for each other? Is it also evident that love doesn't seem to be enough to make this relationship work? Well then this is the right article for you!

We all know have that one relationship that just didn't work out, despite the energy, effort, and love that was invested. The golden question everyone wants to know is: is love enough? What if the answer is no… will you feel hopeless? Here’s why it is completely okay that love is not always enough.

Loving someone else isn't always “enough”, but loving yourself is always enough. Learn to love, learn to grow, and learn to prosper, all on your own. Gain your own love, and you will always bring “enough” to the table.

Loving someone else can be challenging. Eventually it sometimes seems like all of the little reasons why you fell in love turn into the little reasons why your significant other drivers you absolutely crazy.

Remember when you used to get excited to do their laundry? Oh, the gratification of folding your lover’s clothes for the first time, and making them smell like EXTRA amounts of fabric softener. Now when the laundry pile grows into a mountain, a fight arises and you are yelling at the fact that they fail to never do their laundry themselves.

Remember when you actually were more than glad to take out their garbage? Such a strange thing to be happy to do, but such a real thing that takes a relationship to the next level. Now the garbage probably smells and is overwhelmingly stuffed to the max with uneaten leftovers. You feel like you’re always the one to take out the garbage, so you leave it, hoping that your significant other will see and no words will need to be exchanged. But they do not notice and you grow bitter.

These things happen. And although they are little, the little things add up and amount to large, big, ginormous things.

No, love is not enough. To have a working relationship, you need so much more than love. You need care and time. You need effort and energy. You need to learn how to be utterly selfless. You need to be thoughtful, and it is no longer just your feelings that are always being considered, you now have your significant other’s too.

If you really want something to work, if you truly want the complete best relationship, you are going to need much more than love. And that is why it's completely okay that love isn't always enough. It is okay that the boy you were obsessed with and thought you would get your first apartment with just didn't work out. It is okay that the girl down the block who you loved since the 1st grade didn’t want to go to prom with you.

Think of this as reassurance. Remind yourself that you are not the only thing in the world that factors into a successful love story. There are plenty of externalities that fail to be considered, especially after a fresh heartbreak. We would be crazy humans to think that happiness is the soul product of love. Love drives people, but does not create happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Jenna Uryevick

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