As young adults, love is in the air. We are bound to fall for someone, break hearts, and have our hearts broken. Some people fall hard and fast while others fall slowly with caution, we are all different. At one point in our lifetime, whether it's before college, during college, or after, the word "love" is one that should not be said lightly. There is also a major difference between "love you" and "I love you". After my first heartbreak, I soon became intrigued by the different stages of love and how others experience it. Did I say the "L" word too fast? Or did I not say it soon enough?
I asked 10 people, men, and women around the age of 20, to explain how they knew they were in love whenever that time in their lives came. Some went more in-depth, while some were never in love at all and explained what they think it would be like, and others kept it short and sweet. Love and feelings can be a very tricky road to go down, but everyone eventually rides that road and deals with hard feelings in many different ways.
1. Woman, Age 20
"To be honest, I don't know if I was or am in love still. I feel like you wouldn't need to question it because you would know. Maybe I am just denying it and do not want to admit that I'm in love with someone who can't seem to love me back. But love makes you want to do all those stupid, cliché things like stand outside their window with a radio over your head and watch shows that you hate just because they like them."
2. Woman, Age 20
"I knew I was in love when I couldn't stop thinking about them. I couldn't wait until the next time I could see them and just talk to them. Seeing or thinking about them would give me butterflies in the most cliché way possible. After a while, those feelings of a crush would not go away until they were there constantly."
3. Man, Age 20
"I knew that I was in love because I couldn't get her out of my mind. The only person I wanted to see was her."
4. Woman, Age 20
"I haven't been in love yet but I would imagine that being in love with someone would be the scariest thing in the world and also the best thing. The best being that you get to wake up every morning and just be with this person and experience life together, but also the scariest thing because I feel like love isn't really a choice. You're not in control of how you feel anymore it's just there and everything is suddenly heightened."
5. Man, Age 20
"Well, sometimes you can tell you're in love by this warm feeling inside. You can also tell when you're in love when just their smile brightens your day and the little things they do make you happy. When you're not expecting anything to happen that one particular day but they take the time out of their day just to spend a little bit more with you. Love is not always about looks, it is about the actions and personality within them that brings out the real you. Love comes in many ways, so make the best of it."
6. Man, Age 20
"It's all about getting to know the person and building up a relationship before the relationship. What most people look for in a person are a body, curves, and a big butt. What I look for is personality, how they deal with stress and anger. It can be whatever."
7. Woman, Age 20
"So I believe that when people realize they are in love, that they are willing to support and do anything for that one person. It is similar to blind trust but also relying on the partner to support you. I feel falling in love could be easy for some people but harder for others who put a guard up. I think falling in love can also mean that a person feels secure in the relationship and are happy."
8. Woman, Age 19
"For me, it was realizing that my life was better with him in it. I knew I was in trouble when his smile made my stomach jump. Whenever I was around him, I felt loved and supported and could honestly see a future for us. He brought out the best of me, but also has seen the worst. The important part about that though, is that we chose to work through our fights and our issues in the relationship to make it work. We could've ended it and walked away so many times. But we kept choosing each other."
9. Man, 20
"I knew I was in love right away. I didn't know how or why, but I knew that down that path was real love. We spent our first extended time apart, each day felt like a two-week stretch, during her absence of just two weeks. We spent every day together, and then two weeks with limited communication, and not seeing each other at all. After about a week, I knew it was her.
10. Woman, 20
"To me, love isn't toxic. I feel like there's a misconception that love needs to be proved by showing your partner off on social media or buying them gifts or spoiling them. I think love is when you don't have to try to prove yourself to someone. You shouldn't be self-conscious around him/her. You should be fully comfortable with being yourself, including your flaws."
11. Man, 23
"I think for a lot of people it's hard to find the difference between 'love' and a 'crush' because the feelings can't be very visceral for both of those. There really isn't a single moment when you know you are in love with someone but it seems to be a constant feeling of infatuation, wanting to be with and around a person for whom you care about and deeply, wanting them to succeed and wanting to help them be the best version of themselves. You look at them and you know that person is who you love. I also think there's a difference between being in love, and loving someone because you can be in love but it can be unrequited, unfortunately. Loving someone goes beyond a physical relationship. You want to see beyond their flaws, motivate, and build them up and commit to being there for them no matter what."
12. Woman, 20
"Looking back, I don't know if I was ever really in love. In a relationship, you are supposed to love the person you are with because that's the normal thing to feel. I wanted so bad to be in love but now I really can't justify if I was or not. He said the 'L' word way too soon so I thought he really didn't mean it. I take that word very seriously. About four months into the relationship, I said it and he didn't say it back. I cared deeply for him and would have done anything for him. I stayed up most nights hoping he's ok and worrying to the point where I felt sick. He caused a lot of mixed feelings inside of me and I struggled through so much because of him and I hate him for that. But hate and love are two very different feelings, polar opposites. It is just astonishing how one minute you would take a leap of faith for someone and the next minute want them gone and out of your life. Now I know to take my time and not throw the 'L' word around for someone that doesn't deserve it."
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