So your boyfriend/girlfriend has informed you of their best friend and you want to know their name. It just so happens that their best pal is the opposite sex. What are you going to do?
Scream, demand them to end things, support the friendship or try to be friends with the BFF too — what are you really going to do? How about we think about the issue more thoroughly before we think irrationally.
I have been in this situation, I really have. "We have been friends since middle school and she means a lot." That is great, but I gave him the inch and he took a mile. I was totally OK with the friendship — until he wanted more than a friendship and that is when the friendship had to go or I was going to leave.
When you experience issues, that hinder trust, it is extremely hard to move past the doubts and fears — especially when starting a new relationship. I know for months I had thoughts of what really happened when he was just talking to his BFF. But, I also knew I had to overcome the trust issues before I began a new relationship.
Bringing in past issues, while going into a new fling, is not fair for the other person. Just because my ex took advantage of my trust, in regards to his BFF, does not mean that should influence how I see opposite gender friendships for the rest of my life.
I am totally OK with my man having a girl as his BFF. Why? Because I learned that not every single guy will be my ex and mess up. The friendship your partner could have with their BFF could be very valuable and important. I grew up with a guy for years and I respect every single relationship he has ever been in — but every new girl has always had some sort of issue with me. I have never once made a move on him, intended on sleeping with him or being more than friends. So ladies and men, why are we not communicating with both the partner and the BFF?
I took a vote, on Instagram, asking my followers, "Are you OK with your significant other having a BFF of the opposite sex." The results had more people saying "Yes" than "No." But, for the ones that said "No," why? Are you afraid of something? Do you have fears and doubts? Or is it all about trust? All of the listed things are things that you, as an individual, should work on prior to getting into a new committed relationship. Because forcing someone to choose will not make you look good as a person, and will NOT make your relationship any better. The moment you force someone out of your partner's life is the moment you have taken away something that they may never get back. That friend could have lasted forever, but you wanted it discontinued for your own insecurities.
I truly support all friendships. If you want to remain friends with your ex — then so be it. You once needed them and they once needed you, keep that bond. If you want to be friends with the hottest girl on the world — then go ahead. If your partner truly loves and cares about you then NO other connection will matter. If you find out that your partner has a BFF of the opposite sex, try to consider all sides of the situation before you ruin a relationship — either yours or the friends.
