To the NCAA:
Thank you. I know you may not have gotten many "thank yous" lately, but honestly, and truthfully, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
You gave me an opportunity to excel at my sport at one of the highest levels possible. Without a scholarship, my college degree would have been non-existent. I would not be half of the person I am today without the four years I was able to experience as a student athlete. The only problem is, I wasn't done.
You only gave me four years, the four fastest years of my life. I spent freshman year becoming acclimated to college and to the program. I spent sophomore year growing up. I spent junior year learning to lead. The only year my whole heart was into playing the game was my senior year. Four years. That's all we get. Coming in as teenagers, by the time we grow and learn we have one year to dedicate our whole selves to. One year of playing the game at this level the way it should be played.
Am I grateful for the opportunity that was given to me? Yes. Extremely. But having the love of my life stripped away from me too early, when I wasn't ready to be retired yet, and when I knew I still had years left, it was heartbreaking. At 22 years old I was forced to stop playing a game that had been a part of me since I was 4.
Now I know at this point you're thinking, "Well how can we even allow you to play longer when you have a degree?" Well I've put some thought into this, and maybe the ideas I have are so simple that they seem crazy. 1. As an athlete, you have five years to play four. Why can't you just play all five? And 2. After graduating, you are either allowed to take a part-time job at the school and are then eligible to play or can work toward a master's degree. Pretty simple, I would say.
The controversy right now is paying the players. I know that the NCAA is a business, and in
business if you don't bring in money, you don't get paid. I
know that my sport doesn't make money. I know that, coming from a small
school, we don't make as much money as these bigger schools because we
don't have that big-time market. I don't want the money. I want the
time. Why did you strip me, someone who has been a part of a sport for
up to 18 years, of my love, of more opportunity, of everything I've ever
known, at such a young age?
There are opportunities to continue to play out there, and there really isn't anything at this level. I want to feel like fire, that intensity. If you're not the best of the best, you can't have that ever again. Most of us are not going professional and leagues can only fill the void to a certain extent. So where does that leave the rest of us? What if there's no where for me to feel the fire? What if I'm a female or play a sport with even more limited opportunities? What if I'm not in that small percentage that are good enough to play at the next level?
You owe me nothing. I know that most athletes don't even get this opportunity. Maybe this is me being selfish, but I wanted more. I wanted another day with my teammates. I wanted another day of the only thing that has been constant throughout my life. I wanted another game-winner. I wanted to hear another roar of the crowd. I wanted another road-trip. I wanted one more game, one more opportunity, one more experience; I would give anything for one more.
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, to have loved something so much that it killed me when you took it away. So again, thank you NCAA for providing me the with greatest opportunity, the greatest love I've ever known. Thank you for the greatest heartbreak I'll ever experience in my life time.
Highest regards,
The Athlete Who Wasn't Big-Time, Just Wanted More Time
