Nothing Stings More Than Judgment
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Nothing Stings More Than Judgment

Your accusations of others have the power to completely kill that person’s confidence.

84
Nothing Stings More Than Judgment
everydayfeminism.com

If you know me well, you will know that I tend to be a very loud, outgoing, and free-spirited person. While most people who first meet me tend to think that I am friendly, I’ve had people who have thought otherwise. I’ve had people assume that I am stuck up, overly confident, naive, silly, unrefined, an attention seeker, or devoid of problems and insecurities. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about me; in fact, I am not writing this article to change anyone’s perceptions about me. I am, however, writing this article to make one point: nothing stings more than for others to make assumptions about who you are without walking a day in your shoes.

It stings the most when the people who should know you the best make these harsh judgments.

I know this not only from personal experience but from seeing some of my friends and family members being judged/criticized by people who haven’t bothered to listen to them or give them a second chance.

I would be lying, though, if I said that I had not made the same mistake of quickly judging others without bothering to know what they’ve been through in their own personal life.

One instance has particularly struck me and I’ll never forget it:

A couple weeks ago, a video went viral on the web of a middle-aged woman making a huge, unnecessary commotion on a plane. Apparently, she had become so worked up and angered when she found out that the man in the seat next to her had opposing political views from her. She was causing such a disturbance that she was eventually escorted off the plane before it took-off. As the flight-stewardess escorted her down the aisle, most people in the plane cheered.

As I watched this scene, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Good riddance. What an easily offended woman. She probably is so arrogant she couldn’t handle hearing an opposing opinion.”

Later, however, the news reported that this woman had suffered a loss of a family member prior to this incident. She was undoubtedly stressed and in a state of deep grief. All of a sudden, I felt guilty for cheering along with the others in the video as this woman had been asked to leave the flight. While her behavior was still disruptive and inexcusable, I felt more compassionate towards her. She had a huge burden on her shoulders and perhaps it just took one person to tip her over the edge. She had flipped her lid, but it was most likely due to her exhaustion and frustration. I realized that I had jumped to a conclusion about this woman being overly arrogant without really getting to know her story.

Can you relate?

I want to encourage you to stop yourself from jumping to conclusions about the actions of others without really listening to them first or getting to know their narrative. Context is everything, and unless you are patient, you are more than likely to attribute false personality or character traits onto a person if you do not completely understand where a person is coming from. When you’re tempted to be judgmental, ask yourself, “Have I walked a day in their shoes?” I can assure you that if you were to walk a day in someone’s shoes, you wouldn’t be as judgmental.

You would let go of a lot of your biases against others who have wronged you.

You would be a lot more compassionate towards them.

You would see that you are no better than them because you have most likely made the same mistakes.

Remember that your accusations of others, especially when you're vocal about them, have the power to completely kill that person’s confidence and make them feel incredibly small. Even if you think they won't care or be offended, the negative words you say can echo in their mind forever, and it can take them years to heal from it. So please, please don’t belittle others. When you do, I can assure you that what goes around comes around. I would hate to see you suffer from the same pain of unfair judgment and false accusations. If you know anyone who has been falsely judged or accused, you can play an important role in their healing process. Give them the time and space to voice out their pain and frustration to you. Assure them that you don't judge them in the same way that others may have. Build their confidence through words of encouragement and positivity.

If God, who saw us in all of our selfishness, still extended amazing grace to us, then shouldn’t we extend amazing grace to others?

As 1 Corinthians 4:5 says, "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. “

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

43387
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

27287
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

952211
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

144906
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments