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Excuses We've All Heard Before

This coffee is about to get really bitter.

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Excuses We've All Heard Before
Photographer: Sabina Maria

"It's not you, it's me!"

"I'm just no good for you!"

Remember that wrenching heartbreak? The one that sent you spiraling into anger? Not because there was anything crazy going on in your relationship, but because it was fairly simple and yet somehow, it did not work out. Doesn't that just make you mad? Everything is there and you guys are just not connecting? And to top it all off? They gave you a really terrible excuse as to why this is happening? A good cliche of, "It's not you, it's me." Come now, let's spill the tea.


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"It's not you, it's me."

Once, I had an ex-boyfriend who had real potential. He was good-looking, funny, smart, driven and had everything going for him. We started dating and I got to know him more and he still seemed to be a decent person. What was the issue? He had a really bad commitment issue. For some reason, he just did not want to commit. We would do a boyfriend and girlfriend activity, I would post him on social media BUT he just did not want to claim me as his girlfriend. What was the problem? Did he, perhaps, want to soil his royal oats while he was still young and he did not want to be tied down? That could be it, but if that's the case, why start a relationship-like situation with someone? Needless to say, this could annoy anyone. The man is great behind the looking glass but as soon it comes to claiming me in public, here come the excuses.

I can say that the people who do this, just need to be upfront with themselves and the person they are involved with. A simple, "I'm not ready to date yet" or "I don't want to stop living this single life, we can talk but just know you won't be the only one" is good enough for anyone to decide whether or not they want to stick around. No one should be lead on with false promises of one day being claimed and one day getting to finally call someone their boyfriend/girlfriend even though they do boyfriend/girlfriend activities. Just to end it off with, "It's not you, it's me."


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"I'm just no good for you."

I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS PHRASE! Can someone please tell me what significance this phrase has with someone who has already established a relationship with that person? How are you going to wait to start dating someone, get to know them and their body just to make excuses for yourself? You catch yourself messing up and now you guys are in a bind. The first response should never be, "I"m just no good for you." Cause if that was the case, they would have known this prior to dating you.


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