My entire life, I've known what I was doing. Before I even started school, I was the smart one-- the one that was always going to be ahead in life. That's a lot of pressure to put on a kid of any age, let alone a not even 5-year-old.
This was no one's fault-- I have an amazingly supportive family, and they never pushed me to do anything I didn't want to or couldn't mentally do. However, years and years of making myself think that I should always be one step ahead of the game took its toll.
Now, I am a 20-year-old college student. Currently, I have no license, no car, and no job. For the first time in my life, I am feeling absolutely stuck. I feel like I have no idea how to be an adult or where to go next, and it's terrifying.
I'm not totally stuck. Like I said, I am enrolled in college, my GPA is decent and I am absolutely in love with the path I have chosen for myself. The only thing I'm actually falling behind in, I feel, is the "adulting" that goes along with not being a teenager anymore.
My struggle to adulthood, however, has helped me learn a few valuable lessons.
You have to push yourself to make things happen.
Though it may seem like a pain, you have to put yourself out there. If you applied for a job, make yourself call the place you applied to. If you have terrible driving anxiety like I do, make yourself get on the road and get past it.
These things, obviously, are easier said than done. However, once you get past whatever fears of adulting you have, it all becomes a lot easier to manage.
Acknowledge that you've fallen behind.
If you're feeling like you're not quite up to par with your vision of what an adult should be, don't deny it. It's a dark, scary cloud of a feeling, but admitting it is your first step to fixing whatever you feel is wrong.
For me, a lot of the acknowledging of my lack of adult skills happens through jokes. While this may not be the best way to deal with things, it certainly helps me come to terms with where I am in my life while still bringing my humor to things.
And hey, it worked for Chandler Bing, right? Why shouldn't it work for me?
Understand that you are not alone.
Though it may seem like your friends are progressing into the adult world a lot faster than you are, chances are, they feel just as far behind. Everyone has their own meaning of "adulthood".
Talk to your friends about their worries. You'll find that not only are you not alone, but that some of your friends may have been in the same position at one point or another.
Start with something small.
When I start to feel like I'm lagging behind in my life, especially right now, my go-to activity is filling out job applications. Though it is tedious and insanely repetitive, it makes me feel like I've done something remotely adult-like with my day, and that gives me a confidence boost to do something more.
Your "something small" may be far different from mine, but once you find something that motivates you to pick the pieces of your life up and get moving, you will feel a bit of relief.
Realize everything will happen in time.
Okay, I know. This has been said a million times. But hear me out!
Eventually, things are going to come together for you. It may not seem like it at whatever state you're at in your life, but things are going to happen. You'll get that license, you will get a job and, if you're lucky, you may even get to pay your own bills!
...Okay, so maybe that can wait. But, sooner or later, you will start to feel like a real adult.
When that day comes, you can sit back and breathe a sigh of relief. It's an uphill climb, but with a little hard work and determination, your life will start to happen. It's going to be great.
