I'm Not Deleting My Tinder In 2017
Health and Wellness

I'm Not Deleting My Tinder In 2017

There's power in being single and you should never lower your standards

28
www.recode.net

There is a stigma around Tinder and anyone who goes on there might know it. There is a belief that Tinder is where the most desperate of us all lurk to get laid, find a date or even make a friend (odd way to start a friendship but not unheard of). I sometimes even feel a little bit of shame when I open up the app on my phone and start swiping candidates in the Seattle area. But I’m not deleting Tinder in this upcoming year for a couple reasons--I’m still desperately single and honestly, I kind of like Tinder.

I’m planning out my resolutions for the new year, and I’ve already roped my best friend into working out and dieting with me. But there's one thing I’m not doing--deleting my Tinder. I’m not saying that I’m going to find my future husband or that I’m putting all my relationship hopes into Tinder. I know what I want in a relationship from looking at the most wonderful romances in my life, and it’s that kind of love that I want. The kind where you’re not just in love, but you’re best friends. I want to be with a guy who I don’t mind spending hours talking to, who can handle my wild personality and doesn’t mind if I am overly loud and uncontrollable sometimes.

I don’t think I’m going to find that guy on Tinder. I think I’ll find a guy who’s more than willing to sleep with me once and then never call me again, so if I’m ever looking for that I know where to go. I’m not going to find the guy I can tell everything to and share important moments of my life with. Maybe there are a few lucky people out there who find everything they’re looking for on Tinder, but I know that won’t be me.

To all the other single people out there who are still trying their hardest to find someone to share the new year with and to all the people who will be kissing a glass of champagne instead of another person at midnight--being single isn't all bad. Being single means you can go out on casual dates without any expectations, it means exploring you are (not to speak in clichés) and it means that you can have a Tinder. But being single does not mean that you should lower your standards and settle for the first guy that you meet.

Tinder is full of people that just want something casual and easy. And if you’re not looking for that, don’t feel like you have to continuously lower expectations just so you’re not alone. In my experience, it’s better sitting alone than kissing someone just for the sake of kissing someone.

Tinder’s tagline is “it’s like real life, but better.” I disagree. None of the relationships that I look at and admire spout from Tinder. They come from the most unexpected of places--like calculus or work or mutual friends-- and they take time. And it might be a while until you find that person, but the only time the words “it’s a match” should matter to you are when you’re sitting in your room, smiling at a picture of you and your significant other, and being grateful that you didn’t give up.

So even though I think all of this, even though I think Tinder isn’t going to find me the love of my life, why am I not deleting it? Short and simple--it’s a reminder not to give up. It’s a reminder that there is someone out there, and even if I have to go on a hundred bad dates before finding one that actually works, there are options. Tinder is a reminder that there are lots of single people in the world and you are not the only one looking. Tinder is not a place where hope for love goes to die, it’s the place where you can find your hope all over again.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylar Banks

May 25, 2020: the day that will forever be remembered as the day George Floyd lost his life at the hands of cops.

The day that systematic racism again reared its head at full force in 2020.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 17 Black-Owned Businesses Ship Baked Goods, Rosé, And Even Fried Chicken Nationwide

Eat your way through this country's greatest food — from your couch.

Call it the easily bored Gemini in me, but I'm constantly looking for new food to try. Usually, travel quenches my taste for new and exciting cuisines, but given the fact that international travel is not always a possibility, I've begun exploring alternatives.

In the interest of wanting to support the Black community and Black-owned businesses, and also wanting to try some of the country's greatest food without having to get off my couch, I started off (pessimistically) doing research, only to find that the options were vast.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

24 Beauty And Style Brands Donating To The Fight To End Police Brutality Against Black People

From small, boutique brands to legacy fashion brands.

The worlds of beauty and fashion often collide, whether for good or bad. In both, underrepresentation has always been, and remains to be, a major unresolved issue. After the recent killing of George Floyd, many people are rightfully enraged, compounded by the fact his death in police custody wasn't an isolated incident.

Police brutality against Black people is not new, and isn't going away till we start dedicating resources to fighting it. Many of us, as individuals, have only begun in the last week scratching the surface of what it means to educate ourselves on race, historical race relations, and how to be an ally to the Black community.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Can Still Connect While Disconnecting From Social Media

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's a lot going on right now, particularly in relation to George Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and public protest of racial injustice in the United States. While we can all agree that this deserves conversations, change, and actionable good, social media arguments with Great Aunt Linda are not where social change begins and ends. Spending too much time scrolling through your phone has never been healthy, but now it's even more addicting — what does that one person from my hometown say about this? How can I further education within discussions? Am I posting enough?

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't know about you, but reading is at the top of my to-do list this summer... especially with all the social distancing I'll still be doing. If, like me, you're hoping to pick up a romantic page-turner (or a couple dozen), here are 23 romance novels by Black authors you'll absolutely LOVE reading.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

22 Black-Owned Etsy Shops With The Perfect Gifts For Everyone In Your Life — Including You

Treat yourself and your loved ones while supporting Black creatives and artisans.

R-KI-TEKT, Pontie Wax, Lovely Earthlings, and blade + bloom on Etsy

The world is taking action against the injustices and under-representation plaguing Black lives, and one small but impactful thing you can do to actively make a difference is support Black-owned businesses.

Etsy is likely one of your go-to sites for gift-buying, but have you ever paid attention to which independent artists and sellers you're buying from?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

True Self-Care Is HARD, That Face Mask Isn't Actually Going To Solve Your Problems

There's a line between self-care and self-destruction.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past few years has seen something somewhere about self-care whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or their Instagram feed. Oftentimes it's pictures of celebrities or influencers sipping green smoothies or slathering on mud masks with #selfcare. It's posts like these that made me realize that "self-care" has become the ultimate buzz word, soaring in popularity but in the process, it's lost most of its original meaning. It's time to set the record straight and reclaim the term.

Although self-care has been around for quite some time, within the past few years it's been misconstrued and commodified as our capitalist society tends to do with things it thinks can be profited off. Self-care is now being peddled as something that can be bought and sold on the shelf at Target rather than something that takes real work to achieve. This fake self-care movement is not only enabling people to over-indulge themselves, but it has created a crutch for people to avoid the responsibility of taking true care of themselves. Instead of doing the work that needs to be done, many people fall into the trap of rewarding themselves for doing nothing at all — this can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism, especially with corporations cheering us on (to buy their next product). Long, hard day at work? Just grab your third iced coffee of the day! Fight with your SO? Buy that 50-dollar face mask, it'll make you feel better! This is how self-care becomes self-sabotage and self-destructive.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments