It’s a universal truth that breakups suck, but the most painful part is moving on. Everyone is different, but in the end all we want is to make our ex regret their choice of moving on without us, however, if we focus all our time on bettering ourselves to bring about their own regret we aren't allowing ourselves to move forward in our lives without them.
Trust me telling you to move on is the most hypocritical thing I have ever done, as I still occasionally cry when something reminds me of my ex boyfriend, and it's been almost a year since we broke up. From going through my break up and watching my best friend struggle through her break up, I found that what helps people feel better is not a rebound, self-improvement to inflict regret, or even writing. What makes people feel better is to know they are not alone, to know how they feel is normal and that eventually it gets easier.
Step one: you miss them like crazy, which is predictable. You two used to do everything together, not only were they your significant other, but they were also your best friend, so what can you do now? You spend time with yourself first. Read some books, go on walks, or invest yourself in your work. You don’t need to replace them right away. Give yourself some time to learn to live on your own.
Step two: Give yourself a project to invest in. I chose to redecorate my entire bathroom in one day. I drove to the paint shop found some towels and rugs, and next thing you know my bathroom was brand new just like me. You of course can choose anything you want or chose nothing at all, but a change to symbolize the change in you helps to achieve a feeling of accomplishment.
Step three: surround yourself with people who bring out the best of you. If this means finding a new group of friends, go find them; if this means spending more time with your old friends, go do it. There is no excuse for being unhappy. Go find things that make you happy and eventually you will start to feel happy again.
Step four: reflect on how far you have come since the break up, along the way you have become a better person, except instead of becoming better for others you did it for yourself. People often forget to live for themselves, and start to live to please others, don't lose yourself loving someone who doesn’t deserve it. The right people be drawn to you. Be patient and enjoy your life.
Break ups suck, but don't let the pain last forever. Eventually you will begin to care less, you won't check on them everyday like you used to. When you see them with someone else, you will only hope they are happy. You’ll always love them, but you will love in a different way. You will love them in the sense you want the best for them, but you don’t feel the need to cause their happiness anymore. You will always have them in your heart, it just won’t hurt anymore. Until that day comes, take control of your life and your happiness. You are never alone, I promise.
