I know. You feel sick to your stomach and you're staring at that picture of them together while you cry. I know you feel like you're so dizzy you might actually pass out. You dated for over a year, and they replaced you in a couple weeks.
You're thinking things like “we just broke up,” “was I even important?” and “do you even care about me?”
The first thing you should know is that you are allowed to be as confused as you are. You just broke up, and now they are taking “cute” pictures together while calling themselves a couple.
Maybe they told you they weren't looking for a relationship when they broke up with you, but now they are in one.
Maybe they said that they were trying to find time to find themselves, but yet they are in a new relationship.
Whatever the reason for breaking your heart, you didn't expect to be replaced so quickly. Of course, you expected them to move on eventually, but you were most likely thinking it would happen months and months from the breakup. Here you are trying to even grasp the idea that you broke up, and now you have to wrap your mind and heart around the fact that they found somebody new so fast.
It becomes even more confusing because you feel like you can't complain about it since you two are broken up.
You shouldn't care, right? Wrong.
You do care because they were a huge part of your life. You feel like this is a huge slap in the face, and it’s almost like they are saying “you never mattered and our relationship never mattered.”
That's exactly what I thought when this happened to me. I would look at pictures, and then I would cry because my heart would break all over again. I have this person on every social media account ever. I would see everything. Snapchat was the worst because I would always know when they were together. I would instantly look at his story then shut down. “Why do I do this to myself?” I asked.
I would suggest to delete and block them from all social media, but honestly, do that if that helps you. For me, that would only make things worse because I would grow very angry at them, and eventually, I would have never forgiven them.
People will begin to notice, like friends and family members, and they'll start asking questions. This is where it gets even harder.
I'm never going to forget when my little sister saw a picture on Instagram of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend together. She angrily ran up to me and asked me, “Do you know about this new girl?” “Yeah. We broke up, it doesn't matter. It's whatever. People move on I guess,” I angrily said while fighting tears.
“Do you still love him?” I looked at my 13-year-old sister, surprised she asked me that question and tears rolled down my face. She instantly hugged me. I didn't say a word, but she knew the answer. I stopped crying and looked at her, nodded, and said,“ I think part of me will always care for him no matter what.”
People will either understand you or won't understand at all, and that can get frustrating. This can be hard to keep inside so try to find friends or family members who do understand your situation so that it'll help you express and let out your feelings.
You may soon find out that they may even be doing things you two did together or even planned to do together. For example, maybe you talked about going to see a particular movie you were both excited for only to find out that they went with this new person. You may have had a couple inside jokes and unique nicknames for each other. Soon you find out that they are sharing the same inside jokes and they are calling this new person the unique nickname that they had for you. For instance, maybe you both liked the characters Harley Quinn and the Joker and you called each other that, but now they have that same joke together.
You're angry, sad, and puzzled. You’re thinking, “Why are they doing things that were only special to us?” You truly would rather have them create their own inside jokes and names. The only thing I have to say about this is don't worry too much about it. You're going to have to let this one go, and maybe laugh about it because it's insane to try to bring an old relationship to a new one. If you laugh, it'll help with healing the pain.
I know you're feeling almost worthless. You start comparing yourself to the replacement, and it becomes very dark. They have lighter hair, they are physically bigger than you, younger than you, wear more makeup than you, etc. The list goes on and on, and you start to not feel beautiful. I'm here to tell you that you are so not worthless. You are beautiful in your own ways, and you need to see that.
Don't crawl into that dark corner that consumes all good that you think of yourself because you don't deserve that. Stop comparing yourself to this new person because you are own person, and you are beautifully different. If your ex couldn't see that, I know someone else will. In fact, people see how beautiful of a person you are now, so surround yourself with these people.
Of course, you want them to be happy, but that's the thing you'll hate admitting and that hurts the most. They are happily living their life while you are trying to mend your heart. They seem to have no regret for doing what they did to you while you shed tears for several nights. They seem to be having their life together while you're trying to untangle the craziness of your life. They seem to not care about your life while you still wish things work out for them. Eventually, this pain goes away. I know that when you see them, all you see is pain and hurt. The pain does go away; your heart starts to heal.
They may still care or they may not, and you will probably never get an answer. You may never hear from them again. You wish things could go back to where you both were just best friends, and that can only work if both people work at it. For now, I'm here to tell you that you should, above all, stay positive because they may have moved on from you quicker than you have from them, but you get time to focus on yourself.
Yes--this whole situation feels like they replaced you and now they have no use for you. It feels like you are being slowly forgotten like an old toy. The one point I want to make clear here is that you are not replaced. People are not replaceable, because we are all different, which did take me a long time to realize.
Don't feel like you've been replaced no matter how their actions make you feel because you are so unique in your own ways, and you have to open your eyes and see that for yourself. Keep on laughing, keep on smiling, keep on being you, and keep a positive mind.