I started playing lacrosse in the second grade. As an athletic girl, it was a sport I picked up quickly and fell in love with immediately. It has brought me the best of times and the worst of times. Throughout all my years, I have met some incredible people who, to this day, I consider my second family. Lacrosse has also taught me more about life and myself then I ever could have imagined. It is something that has brought me a lot of success if my life, but it became my identity. I never considered the possibility of not playing lacrosse in college. It had been such a big part of my life for so many years, I couldn’t remember what life was like without it. So, when I committed to play lacrosse at the University of Cincinnati, my life long dream of playing collegiate Division I lacrosse came true.

However, once I got there, it did not live up to my expectations. Sure, I knew I was basically committing to a job, but I thought I was going to love it. Lacrosse had always been my favorite thing, basically my outlet to escape reality, but it soon became the thing I could not escape from. It controlled my life in more negative ways than positive. I developed anxiety and became a person I did not recognize. I have always had a bubbly personality and an optimistic heart, but the girl I once knew was dominated by negativity and anguish. The environment I was in was detrimental to my health and my happiness. I was slowly wishing away my four years of college, which, at the time, felt like my only option. In my mind, I would be a failure and a disappointment if I were to walk away. Not until recently did I have the heart, guts and bravery to end my lacrosse career.

I had a true epiphany moment. As I sat in my coach’s office talking to a recruit, I said, “You have to figure out if you are doing it for yourself or because you feel like you are expected to in order to live up to the expectations of others.” From that moment, I knew I was speaking to myself and was sticking around for the wrong reasons. Ultimately, happiness was more important than what others thought of me. My lacrosse career would come to an end eventually, and there are so many other amazing opportunities out in the world that are bigger and better while catering to my happiness. Don’t get me wrong, lacrosse has provided me with success, incredible opportunities and experiences and a second family I am extremely grateful for. Although, I became very eager to step away from what I knew and had been defined by for so long.

Enduring the most physically and mentally exhausting times has given me the strength to be able to do what is best for me, walking a new path that is unknown but I know is full of adventure. While this was the biggest decision I have had to make in my 20 years of life, I can confidently say I am happier than ever and completely content with my decision to step off the only path I have walked in my life in order to live life for me and only me because I am more than my sport.