Have you ever had one of those days when everything goes wrong?

It could be anything: a breakup with your significant other. Your car suddenly breaking down. Getting fired from your job. Or maybe it's a little thing, like pouring your cereal before figuring out you're actually out of milk. Either way, things have a tendency to pile up, and sometimes, you just need to tell someone about how you feel because you could really use a hug and some reassurance.

I can definitely relate. The last year of high school was pretty stressful, and on top of that, life was happening. The thing was, sometimes life and high school chose not to get along. Life threw some curveballs at me, like it does to everyone. These curveballs tended to pile up, and whenever it seemed like I was striking out, I would decide whether or not I really wanted to talk about it.

As many of us have learned the hard way. Bottling up our emotions can have an undesired effect both mentally and physically. Given that, I would do what I thought I should do: I would try to speak to a friend about my trouble, hoping for some help, but also hoping for a shoulder to cry on. After all, we're only human. It's natural to seek out comfort in times of great stress.

I would spend about the first five minutes with some relevant context of what led up to my current predicament. Then, I would mention the first thing that troubled me the most, like how I was working a lot and not seeing my family much. I would pause for a breath, and suddenly, my misery became totally irrelevant, because then I would spend the next hour hearing about how their job is so much worse than mine and how they never want to see their family because they're so overbearing so obviously I need to stop complaining and be grateful. By this point, the subject had reverted to something else other than what I had brought up. I would be left sitting, quiet and forgotten, until I would decide to leave.

And just like that, I'm left feeling the exact same way I felt before, except a smidgen worse, because now I feel guilty for trying to share my feelings in the first place.

I'd like to point out that there is a clear difference between complaining and talking about how I feel. Complaining implies a sort of immature take on a surface issue, such as complaining about having to serve jury duty or doing a history project. This is incredibly different from sharing your feelings, which is talking with someone about what's eating you up inside and degrading your mental health. Like I said, these are two completely different actions, and for some reason, many people seem to confuse the two, and it irritates me to no end. Having said that, there are a few things I have taken away from these instances:

First of all, never, and I mean never, let anyone try to force guilt upon you for expressing your sorrows, even though they're different from someone else's. You are entitled to have your own problems or bad days, just like everyone else. Anyone who knows this would never try to add more worry to your already-increasing mountain of anxiety.

Second of all, if anyone ever does try to pull this kind of thing on you, don't be afraid to stop them right then and there. I'm not suggesting you attack them or anything, but a simple, "I haven't finished my story," or, "I seriously need to talk this out. Can you please listen to what I have to say?" should suffice. If they appear to ignore your pleas, I would suggest talking to someone who obviously has more concern for your well-being.

Thirdly, and most importantly, misery is not a competition. Anyone who tries to overpower your words by describing how much more awful things are for them than they are for you are generally self-centered. Even the most outgoing and caring person with the least amount of luck is more likely to earnestly listen to you than someone who only cares about what affects them. Everyone deserves a chance to talk about what emotions reside within themselves, and everyone deserves a kind and concerned person willing to listen.