College is a really stressful time and whether or not it is you, or someone you know, anxiety and depression are common. They are issues you will most likely have to deal with in your lifetime, so it's important to be knowledgeable about them. Both anxiety and depression can make someone feel isolated, even if they have a lot of friends or support. Here are some things you should or shouldn't say to someone dealing with these issues.
What you should not say
I know exactly how you feel. I know this one is trying to be helpful, but unless you actually deal with anxiety or depression, you don't know how it feels. You saying things like this can be belittling to the person who suffers from anxiety or depression.
Everyone deals with that. One bad week does not mean you are depressed so, no, not everyone deals with this, but thank you for offering your very educated opinion to me while I pretend to feel comforted.
You are just one workout away from feeling better. There are a lot of things that go into these disorders and not everything can be solved with exercise. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress but what may work for some, won't always solve the problem for others. That being said, if you want to offer to go outside with someone or do something active, that may be a better approach.
You have a great life and other people have it worse. Yes, the world is filled with horrible, terrible things and sad situations but that doesn't mean that someone else's problems aren't real, too, and deserving of comfort.
You are just being lazy, irrational or crazy. Some days are good days and some days are bad days; that does not make someone lazy. Mental disorder can take up a lot of a person's energy and some days, it's work just to get out of bed and eat. It's not irrational, it's a real problem.
Just don't think about it. I feel like I should not even have to explain why this is impossible, yet some people really believe you can solve anxiety or depression by not thinking about it. Truth is, you cannot. Just as a physical illness cannot heal by ignoring it, mental illnesses are not healed by ignoring them.
You need a drink. Stop. Just. Stop.
Just choose to be happy. Anxiety and depression are not something someone chooses to suffer from, so they cannot just choose to be rid of it. Yes, thinking positive can help, but sometimes, it's hard to see past the current panic.
What you should say or do
Ask what they need from you or what would be helpful for them personally to get through the day.
It is usually better to listen to what someone has to say, rather than talk the whole time.
Ask if there is anything you can do to make them feel less alone. Always remind them they are not alone.
Ask if they want to explain how they are feeling or what they are going through.
Make them feel comfortable enough to be open about it.
Don't be offended if someone wants to be alone. It's not that they're rejecting your offer but some people deal with it differently so just be understanding.
These, of course, are not the only mental illnesses people struggle with or ones that need more attention over others, but are just ones I feel comfortable explaining to someone.
