Make The Choice To Finally Love Yourself

Make The Choice To Finally Love Yourself

You are perfect the way you are.
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Now that summer is here, all anyone talks about is how they need to go to the gym and start eating healthier. They need to get in shape for that dream summer bod so that when they go to the beach they'll look great. I'm here to say that is not what life is about.

I have had my fair share of struggles. Days where I counted calories to lose weight, didn't want to eat, looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. The self hatred I had was the drive I used to go to the gym. I figured if I went to the gym and ate healthy then I would lose weight and finally be happy with myself- which was not true at all. There is no workout plan or diet plan in the world that is going to get you to start loving the body that you have. Loving yourself, starts with you and your mindset.

Hating your body gets you nowhere. We currently live in a society that tries to tell us how we should look, act, talk, think, etc. But in reality, once you get to a point where you can love yourself, you start to realize how our society has nothing to do with how we should look. We spend so much of our time trying to live up to these false standards of someone that we were not meant to be and we lose sight of the beauty that is in us.

Learning to love yourself is a long difficult road that sometimes takes years. But when you finally get there, you start to see life through a new set of eyes. There will be days that you do not feel beautiful or enough — but you need to tell yourself you are. And you also need to believe it. Become your own biggest fan. Once you start planting the seed of confidence and beauty in yourself, it will be hard for you to ever doubt your beauty again. You will no longer care about the little things that once were big things.

Embrace all of your flaws. You are perfectly made and that's that. Who cares if you are not a size two? Who cares if you are curvy? Everyone has flaws and that is life. Learn to love them! Once you start loving the body you were given, you will lead a happier and healthier life. Everyone at some point in their life gains weight. Our bodies change overtime as we get older and it is time you stop comparing yourself to how you used to look. Hating your body everyday just gets tiring. You make yourself sick and miserable. Love the body that you have and rock it because no one else is made the way that you are, which is what makes you so wonderful.

Loving yourself is one of the greatest things that you can do. When you love yourself, then the world will love you back. Encourage yourself and give yourself more credit. You are beautiful just the way you are and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise.

I hope that this reaches someone out there who is struggling to love themselves because they are listening to what society is telling them. I assure you that society is wrong because beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. Never let someone tell you that you are not beautiful- because you are. Let go of your insecurities, love your flaws and stop letting a scale control you. Just love yourself!

Cover Image Credit: blogs.psychcentral.com

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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When You Give A Girl A Bad Title IX Program

She can do so much better.

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When you give a girl a bad Title IX program, they'll give her false hope.

When you give her false hope, she'll see justice for herself.

When she sees justice for herself, she hopes for communication from the program.

When she hopes for communication, she becomes confused when she doesn't hear back for weeks.

When she doesn't hear back for weeks, she asks her investigator why it's taking so long.

When she questions her investigator, they don't give her a clear answer.

When she doesn't get a clear answer, she begins to doubt herself.

When she begins to doubt herself, she believes that this is her fault.

When she believes what happened to her is her fault, she's convinced that she must have asked for it.

When she's convinced she asked for it, the bad Title IX program will tell her she's right.


They'll tell her, "You didn't say no."

They'll tell her, "No one saw him pressure you."

They'll tell her, "There isn't any DNA to prove he did it."

They'll tell her, "He denied everything that happened."

They'll tell her, "You did consent. He said so."

They'll tell her that there is nothing left for them to do.


But,

When you give a girl a bad Title IX program, she'll become an advocate for those who suffered as she did.

When she becomes an advocate, she'll find that she is not alone with her story.

When she finds she's not alone, she'll realize there is something wrong with the program and with the assaulter, not with her.

When she realizes she's not at fault, she becomes empowered.

And when she becomes empowered,

There is nothing in the world that can hold her back.

Title IX can't compete with that.

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