"You don't love yourself"
I've heard those words before, from myself mostly but hearing them coming from that tiny little 4-year-old in my backseat hit me harder than it ever has.
In that moment I looked at him saying "I do love myself" knowing I was lying to him and myself. Don't get me wrong I love parts of me but I don't love nearly enough of myself as I should. I have body issues and am I pretty enough issues like most young adults do these days. I find it hard to appreciate every aspect of myself and why shouldn't I? There's such a strong will to be perfect that you end up hating yourself in the process.
The drive home that day I thought to how does he know I don't love myself? He's just 4, do I let it show that much how uncomfortable I am in my own skin? So like any person, I cried. Cried for the fact that I let that little boy see how much I hated the person I am, cried because I knew I was the only one who could change it, and cried because I was crying(we all get that way sometimes) and then I realized it was time for me to LOVE myself as a whole, not just parts.
Loving yourself can be hard, especially with all the magazines and tv shows showing you what everyone else thinks you should look like to be perfect. The thing that I've learned since that day is you don't have to be perfect to everyone else, you just have to be the right kind of perfect for you. It's taken me a long time to realize that and that I'm beautiful no matter what size I am or how much makeup I wear as long as I'm myself, I'm the best I can be.
So what I'm getting at is no matter what size, color, gender you are, love yourself.
You don't need makeup to make yourself beautiful because God already made you that way. It will take time but if you let yourself, you can love every part of you. All it takes is some confidence and maybe someone to reassure you that you're enough.
"Give yourself a compliment every day. I know it sounds silly, but it really is important. As girls, we spend countless hours focusing on our flaws and trying to correct them or cover them up. It's essential to focus on something you like about yourself. Maybe you're having a good hair day or your skin is looking especially healthy. Take a moment each day to focus on the good, and the try to carry that with you throughout the day because while bangs don't look good on everyone, confidence does."
-Lauren Conrad
This is when I learned that, that tiny little 4-year-old was the little reassurance that I needed.
