To my loved one in heaven,

You're gone, and everyone who knew you wishes that you weren't. Everyone says that you are in a better place, but for some reason that is hard to accept. Nobody gets to see your perfect smile anymore, so how do we know that you're happy where you are? I love you with all my heart. There are so many things I would tell you if I could see you, but I'm struggling to find the words.

I miss you. Since the day that you left, there has been a feeling of emptiness in my heart. I don't think that it is ever going away. I think about you every single day, and that's not an exaggeration. I wish you could be here more than anything.

You were a huge part of my life that will never be replaced. I grew up with you in my life and then, one day, you were just taken from me. I still can't seem to grasp the "why." Why did you have to leave? Why do you have to miss out on so much? Why did God have to take you? I love looking through old pictures and remembering all of the memories that we have together. There are so many! We have shared so many laughs, smiles, and tears, and we have spent so many holidays, birthdays and regular days together. How am I supposed to be okay with you missing all of those now that you're gone? Truth is, I'm not.

So much has happened without you. Ever since you left, so much has happened. You've missed birthdays and holidays. Those are days that you should spend with the rest of us. I've had proms and other school dances, sporting events, and I've even graduated — but you couldn't be there. I don't have the same friends anymore and now I'm in college. So much has changed since you left and I wish that you were here to see it all. You left too soon.

You're going to miss so much. As I'm getting older, I'm thinking about my future. I'm going to graduate college, get a real job, get married. I can't even picture you not being at my wedding, it hurts so bad. After I'm married, I'm going to have kids. Those kids should be a part of your life... They were supposed to be. There are countless other things that you will miss too, including more holidays, birthdays and other family and friends' life events. You deserve to be here.

You're supposed to be here. There was never a time where I thought you wouldn't get to be by my side through all that life throws at me. I had never considered the thought of you being gone until it actually happened. It sucks knowing that you don't get to experience everything that you planned on. I know you wanted to see me get married and have kids, and you should have been able to. Unfortunately, we don't get to make that choice so we have to live with it. As hard as it is now, I look forward to the day that I get to see you again.

I love you and thank you for being my guardian angel.