The other day I was given a piece of paper that basically told me how to take the next step in pursing my career. A career that had been laid out for me since I can remember. Most people would be excited, happy, nervous, and maybe even scared to be applying for their program. For me, I didn't feel anything except a feeling I know I shouldn't have felt. I wasn't excited, happy, or nervous. Instead I was scared. Scared because I didn't feel anything. I wasn't excited to take that next step because I didn't see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I was terrified. Terrified because for the first time in my life I didn't know what I was going to do, or where my life was going to go.
The past couple of days I have been looking back and thinking why did I let it get this far before I listened to my heart. I can remember when I was little and knowing I wanted to help people and keep them healthy. I knew that was my calling. With that being said it just seemed right to pursue a career in nursing. Around this time last year I picked up a new "hobby". That "hobby" turned into something that not only changed my body but opened my mind. I have witnessed first hand how physical activity can improve and even save people's lives. I started becoming my own person. I gained the strength I've lacked most of my life and that allowed me to grow a backbone.
I'm extremely scared to start over, but more scared to disappoint people. From day one I have always done things to satisfy others. From playing sports in high school to picking my college degree. I'm not saying my high school sports were forced on me because they weren't. I loved the sport I played and it will always hold a place in my heart. I did everything I could to not disappoint my family, my friends, my team, or my community. This stuck with me my whole life and I've held back a lot. I've not said what I wanted to say, things I wanted to do, I didn't go for the career I wanted to.
Stepping out on my own has made me learn that it's going to be me who decides everything for myself now. Like when I come home after work every night I'm the one in charge of making my own dinner, I'm the one in charge of paying my bills, and I'm responsible for buying my groceries. So you best believe it's me that's deciding what I'm doing for the rest of my life. If there is any advice I can give to anyone who is doubting their future because they feel like they're being pressured into doing it, then take a step back. Ask yourself what would you want to do everyday that would make you happy to get up and go to work. What brings you happiness and actual joy to your heart? Don't pick a career field simply because your friends are doing it or because your family wants you to do it. In the end it will be you working that job everyday. Will you love it? If not then chase your dream and don't give up. We're only here for a little while so make sure you make it count.
