Life is interesting. It's interesting in the way that it can derail, and send you spinning at any point in your journey. One moment, you are on top of the world, with your perfect job, perfect significant other and perfect house. Then, you get hit with a curve ball and wind up who no job, no significant other and no house. While, that example isn't technically me, I can fully relate to feeling like you had everything to nothing in the blink of an eye. Before we get too ahead of ourselves, let's take it back to the beginning.
I was a 25 year-old multimedia journalist living in the same college town that I went to school in. On top of working for my local news station, I was also a digital content manager and team interviewer for a D1 college hockey team. From creating news stories to creating content for my local hockey team, I was busy. There wasn't a moment, that I didn't love what I did. It felt like a dream to get back to my roots, and cover the one thing I loved more than life; hockey. The endless hours at the rink, interviewing the players and creating content to later post on our social media accounts. It was mentally and emotionally draining, but worth every second. I quickly became the Maverick Hockey Girl and people started recognizing me out In public. I was taken aback that the work (that didn't feel like work ) was being watched by thousands of people. Getting recognized in public became more frequent, and it was affecting me in ways that I didn't notice until almost a year later. The Maverick Hockey Girl persona was becoming my identity. I wasn't Marissa Voss anymore, I was the Maverick Hockey Girl. It consumed me and I lost who I was until there come a day when the Maverick Hockey Girl was dead and I had to resume life as Marissa Voss. One of my valuable lessons is do not make your career who you are, because one day you will have to close the chapter on your career, but you will have to keep living.
From the way I ended that paragraph, I bet you can tell where this story is leading. After a year with the college hockey team, they decided to go in a different direction, (which in sports is something that is incredibly common). When I first found out, I was absolutely devastated. I felt as though, my identity was gone and I had no idea who I was without the gig. After many nights crying and feeling like I was worthless. I picked myself up, and the healing process began. I was forced to close that chapter of my life that I wanted to keep open for at least a little bit longer, but that's not the way life works. So, I know what you guys are thinking, but what about the multimedia journalist position, didn't you have that job? To put it plainly, no I did not. At that time when Summer was coming to an end, and Fall was starting. I was starting to fall apart, I didn't have a full-time job and was forced to do the thing nobody in their right mind wants to do. Yes, I had to move back in with my parents at 25 years-old. I started working for my dad again, which was cleaning businesses after hours. Yes again, was the job that I had in high school. I felt like I was 16 again, back in my parent's house, living in the same room that I lived in all trough high school. I was standing still while everyone around me is moving forward.
A month had passed and in that time frame, I applied to 30+ jobs and heard back from one. The one job that I heard back from was my golden ticket. It was my way to show that I could do it, and that I was great at my job. I made it all the way to the final interview, I was FINALLY feeling like something good was about to happen to me, but it didn't. I heard back from the organization a few days later, and they informed me that I didn't get the job. I was crushed once again, feeling insignificant and small. I fell into a depressive state after I found out and just when I pulled myself out once again. How does that song go? Hello Darkness, My Old Friend. Rejection, my friends is something that is incredibly hard to deal with at any stage in our lives, but especially when you are young. While I was reeling from yet another rejection, life seemed to keep moving on, day after day after day. I had to keep going, even though I wanted to give up and go watch The Vampire Diaries for the 100th time. I can tell you that I didn't, I woke up every day and put one foot in front of the other and it led to the first piece in my redemption arc; a job.
I finally did it, I finally got a job. It's not a full-time gig, but it's doing play-by-play for high school hockey games. Let me tell you what, that was my first small victory in months, and it was amazing. The lessons that I have learned from this journey are endless, but I will share the most important ones with you. Lesson #1; Do not make your career your identity. You are so much more than what you do for a living, it can be a hobby and a passion, but not your entire life. Lesson #2; When it is time to be done with work, it is time to be done with work. I strongly suggest that you do not bring work home with you because then you will never give your mind a break. You will also be consumed body, mind and soul by your career. Lesson 1 and 2 play into each other. Lesson #3; it's okay to not be okay. Life is unpredictable, so you can have moments where you are down and nothing seems to bring you joy. Those moments of sadness can last for a couple of days and maybe even a week, but NO longer than a week. Then, that will become a habit, a habit you cannot break. Lesson #4; you are where you need to be in life. You may feel like everyone is passing you by in life, with their perfect job, perfect significant other and perfect house. That is simply not the case, because in a full circle moment, life can hit you with a curve ball and you can wind up with nothing.
To end this long and emotional post. You can choose to feel like everyone is passing you by in life, and you can choose to feel like the burden, and you can choose to feel this life is not worth living, but those are all choices. You can choose to make the conscious effort to make every day great, you can choose to bring a smile to people's face and you can choose to feel like you belong here, because you do. You deserve to feel loved, you deserve to dance in the rain, you deserve to see the wild sunflowers, you deserve to watch the sunset on the beaches of Hawaii, but most of all, you deserve to be happy.
Life is all about perspective, so instead of feeling like your world is upside down. Maybe switch your perspective and start to think that the world is not upside down. It finally got turned the right side up.
