In my thirty something years on this planet, I have come to realize that every single person that has drifted into my life has done so with intention. Most of us think of relationships that end as failures. We believe that the only true love is the one that lasts forever. But every relationship we enter teaches us something – even the ones that end.
I have given my heart to only a few individuals but each one has been special to me. Each one has taught me something about who I am, what I want out of life, and most importantly, how to love.
When love ends, it isn't lost. What if we could walk away from relationships without feeling like failures? What if we could close that chapter of our lives and simply feel grateful for having experienced it? What if we thanked our ex for sharing their life with us, even if it was brief?
If you're struggling with trying to find things to be thankful for when it comes to past loves, here are a few suggestions:
1. They Shared Their Life With You. You learned what it is like to share stories about your past and to listen to someone else's. You learned what it is like to meet someones family and to care for them. Be grateful that your ex picked you to share their life with. From them you learned that love can be found between two people in almost any circumstance.
2. They Loved You Enough to Challenge You. At some point, your ex was your biggest cheerleader. He wanted you to succeed in everything – school, work, and your hobbies. He had faith in your abilities so he challenged you to do better. He made you question yourself which pushed you harder. You may have hated it then but now, you are stronger because of it.
3. They Fought With You. Even the healthiest relationships will have disagreements but thanks to your ex you learned a thing or two about dealing with them. You don't let the little things get to you anymore. You know that there are bigger problems than someone leaving their socks on the floor or forgetting to pick up milk.
4. They Stuck It Out, Because You Were Worth It. When your relationship was suffering, they probably wanted to leave, just like you did. It was painful to stay and sometimes it seemed like it was too much work. But you were important, so they toughed out and hoped things would turn around. It's always easier to walk away than it is to do the work.
5. They Loved You Even After You Hurt Them. Nobody is perfect and during arguments most of us say awful things we later regret. When you love someone, it can be hard to hear these words but we often let them go, opting to forgive and forget. In your darkest moments, you probably said a lot of things you now regret - there is no shame in saying you're sorry now.
6. They Let You Go. The hardest decision that you guys made together was the decision that ended it all. You never thought that you would get through that pain, but you did. No matter what comes your way next you will know that you can get through that too.
Our exes, though no longer our lovers or partners, are still part of our past. They helped shape who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. If you're holding hate in your heart for your ex, I suggest you let it go and turn it into gratitude. Try to remember that you loved your ex and you too, were loved. And even though that love is gone, it will live on forever in your memories.... that is worth respecting.
