This generation has been raised in a world where methods of communication are rapidly changing and developing, and it is understandable that the way we communicate with one another has changed. However, even with new technology, we still need to remember the value of face-to-face interaction.
Before texting, communication required a lot more work than ten seconds to type a message and press send. I wish I lived in a time period that required a lot more effort in order to talk to another person, because the amount of effort required allowed the result to be much more meaningful. Texting is so impersonal, and meaning behind what one texts can be misunderstood so easily. Don’t get me wrong: I appreciate how easy it is to text. In three seconds, usually less, I can send a simple text, without wasting time focusing on a phone call. However, this is also why I dislike the need to be constantly texting. When having a text conversation, I’m not completely focused on the conversation and the person I’m texting. A lot of the time, that can be a good thing. For small, unimportant conversations, texting is very useful. For meaningful conversations that should be given thought and value, on the other hand, texting is not the way to go. When you are texting someone, you do not have that person's full attention. I personally would much prefer a phone call over a text, but this is not the standard anymore. I wish I could just call my friends and say, “Hey, I miss you! How was your day?” but if I did so, they would most likely find it odd.
When texting, it can be so easy to misunderstand what another person is attempting to say. A lot of communication is nonverbal, and over text, one cannot hear the inflection in the other person's voice, or see a smile to understand sarcasm or a joke. An important part of an interaction with another person is the way you deliver a message. For instance, if I were to send: “How dare you!” over text, one might believe I am being serious and am angry. However, face-to-face, the other would see me smile as I spoke, understanding I was teasing.
Sadly, communication between two people has been almost completely reduced to texting. To ask someone on a date, it is customary now to text and say something simple along the lines of, “Hey, wanna grab dinner Saturday?” rather than being forced to gather the courage to ask in person. Online communication has taken a lot from dating relationships, from the start to the end. Instead of ringing the doorbell to pick up a date, we often just text and let the person know we are here. I experienced this firsthand just today.. I went on a first date with a very nice boy, and when he arrived, my parents and I waited to see what he would do. First, he texted that he was at my house. Eventually, he did get out, but when I opened the door, he stayed by the car waiting. Before texting, he would have been forced to come to the door to inform me he was there to pick me up. He would have met my parents, my dad would have shook his hand, told him to be careful with his daughter, and we would have walked together to his car. Instead, none of this happened. I walked to his car and got in and we left. This boy didn’t do something wrong by not coming to the door, because that is simply not what people do nowadays.
Another main problem with today's methods of communication is how we have become much too attached to our cell phones. Yes, I understand they are useful and should be kept with us for easy contact with family members and in case of an emergency. However, it seems we have lost the ability to sit down with another person and have a conversation without checking our phones. I worked at Starbucks for over a year, and my store was a regular hangout for teenagers. Every time this certain group of girls came in, they would order, sit down, pull out cell phones, and sit there in silence. This group of four or five girls would never put down the cell phones and talk to one another and simply enjoy each other’s company. Every single girl was on her phone, oblivious to the companionship around her. Why do we feel such a strong need to connect with others online when we can do so face-to-face?
Texting also makes dropping a conversation so much easier. Over the phone or in person, one can’t simply not reply or “leave someone on read” like we do over text. In person, you literally have to reply, even if you do not want to. It would be impolite to simply not respond to what the other person said, and then walk away, like can be done over text. In person or over the phone, it requires at least a: “I’m leaving now, bye.” Often, one can get his or her feelings hurt by having text messages ignored. I know for me personally, I find it so incredibly rude to not ever reply. Late replies are understandable, people are busy. But, when I am trying to talk to you, please have the decency to at least say, “bye,” if you need to leave the conversation, or just tell me straight-up you do not wish to text me anymore. If you stop replying in the middle of a conversation without reason, know that you are being disrespectful.
In addition, we get so concerned with when we reply to someone’s message, especially when that person is a romantic interest. I will never understand this concept. If I want to talk to you, I will reply when I see your message. I do not understand waiting a certain amount of time so someone doesn’t think you are interested.. You are interested. Let it happen, and stop worrying. I always text back within seconds from when I see the message. I am not saying I reply immediately all the time, because I am busy and am not always with my phone. But if I see your message and want to reply, I will do so immediately, for I don’t see the point in waiting. If it were a face-to-face conversation, I would not worry about the speed of my replies. It makes no sense to do so over text message. Just reply if you want to and when you want to, people.
In addition to worrying over when to reply, we focus so much on what we send within a text. In person and over the phone, the conversation is raw and unedited. Once you say something, you can’t think about it, erase it, and change the message. You can’t sit there planning out a reply to what the other person said. It is quick- You just reply.
Bottom line, I miss phone calls and in-person communication. The ability to be in constant contact with whomever and whenever causes us to lose some appreciation for time together. Now, once you leave a person’s company, you can immediately text them and stay in constant contact until you see one another again.. Before texting, if you wanted to talk to the person, you had to wait and call, allowing you to miss them while you weren’t talking. I left the country for ten days this summer, and could not text or use the internet. When I came home, I appreciated being with my boyfriend of the time so much more. I got to hear all about his days while I was away, and I was genuinely so happy to see him, which is not something I experienced every time I saw him, for we texted all day everyday. I would much rather call at night and hear about the events of a person’s day rather than hearing brief, impersonal summaries throughout the day.
If we weren’t in constant communication with one another all the time, maybe each of us would be able to greater appreciate our time with one another. So please, put down your phones and just talk to each other. If you want to talk to someone, try calling instead of texting. You don't need to hide behind a screen.
