In conversation with my mother, my past relationships were brought up. She said to me, “You’re just always going to be the girl that dudes think back wondering what would’ve happened if they weren’t such a tool when they were with you.” When she said this I realized that I don’t want to be that girl, but to avoid it, I’d have to avoid the tools. So let’s take a peek inside the toolbox we find ourselves digging into.
Screwdriver/Drill:
This guy is the one you don’t want to get involved with by any means. He grew up entitled and doesn’t plan on coming off his high horse any time soon. He will twist you in many ways by your words, feelings and mind. This man will instill in you the worst thoughts and lead you to become a different person. When you notice possessive behaviors or his tendency to make you feel guilty for everything, confront the situation or get out.
Wrench:
He just can’t seem to figure it out. This guy has had past relationships that may have been long-term, but not always healthy. He wants to be able to say that he’s moved on, but he can’t fix his relationship with you while he’s moving backwards in search of what he lost. Simply put, if he still talks about her in casual conversation with anyone… it’s a bad idea.
Tape Measure:
This comparison is obvious. You’re either an instant rebound, or he’s just super sensitive and can’t forget the one before you. You’ll never compare to her, and in your heart you know that, but you so desperately want him to see you and all that you have to offer. He can shock you, make you think he’s ready to move on and get serious with you, but in the end he’s fooling himself – and he’s fooling you too. If he is comparing you to his ex from the start, you need to let him go before you lose a valuable friendship as well.
Vice Grip:
Younger women are susceptible to this guy and his conniving ways, but that doesn’t mean your naïve side won’t show when a grown man of this nature asks you on a date. He can’t let you go and he sure as hell can’t let you be with anyone else. The way he gets you wrapped around his finger so quickly and effectively is dangerous to another degree. His words draw you in, and it’s so easy to believe him when he’s the one who builds you up and who breaks you down. Identify the signs early, and leave before a vice grip turns into a death grip.
Hammer:
A strong personality is attractive at first, but soon it becomes too much. I don’t know about you, but when a man tells me he’s in love with me after less than a week and you aren’t even exclusive, it’s freaky and you need a quick out. Just as quickly as he entered your life, he is gone and he is hurt. Naturally, he trashes your name to every girl after you. You’ll forever be the one who “broke him.” Don’t feel guilty about jetting early. If you’re not ready, forcing it is a bad idea.
Level:
He’s trying. This man wants the best for you but has no clue how to give it. He may be too young, or even too old, to relate to your wants and needs, which will render the relationship you’re trying to build incredibly awkward. It’s not painful, but it is hard to recognize when your clashing becomes a natural aspect of your partnership. This isn’t healthy, and should be dealt with before it defines you as a couple.
Pliers:
You can adjust your grip easily, but once you’ve chosen a level of pressure, it’s hard to ease up. We don’t realize how much we push until they’ve been pushed away or there isn’t a steady enough grip to keep things in place. If I were to place myself in this toolbox, I would be here. Sometimes I hold on too tight, and sometimes I let things slip, but in the end, every level of pressure I apply was the result of something that needed to be fixed.
User Manual:
This guy needs a user’s manual on women as it is. You get into a relationship with this one and quickly discover that he doesn’t know how this works. He’s treating you like the dusty bound collection of tips and tricks you find in the bottom of a toolbox. More than likely he doesn’t understand your needs, and isn’t trying to. He feeds off of advice from his traditional parents.You must set the boundaries and be firm because God knows this man is the epitome of the phrase “ignorance is bliss.” If you don’t feel like you’re worth much when you’re around him, he isn’t the one for you.
Obviously men aren’t the only ones found in a toolbox. We’re sitting in there too, ladies, and it’s important to recognize that the blame of a failed relationship never lands on one side. That being said, be aware of who you open your heart to.
