It’s nothing new to millennials to be told that we live in the time of social media, which inevitably includes endless controversial photos, news articles, and all the good and bad they bring into our lives. Of course, this knowingly leads us to dozens, thousands, millions of comments on these controversial posts and debates in everyday, real-life situations. I’m sure we are all guilty of putting in our own two cents -- everyone wants to be heard, and that's especially easy to do online. In person, though, it's not that easy, especially for those of us with social anxiety. It's easier to listen to or read what others have to say, whether that's online and behind the screen, or during real-world debates.

As a matter of fact, many of my thoughts and realizations about being "voiceless" in debates didn’t occur because of social media, but instead during my sophomore year of college while going to a highly opinionated liberal university.

"What do you think of the 2016 election?"

"What do you think of Beyoncé's new album?"

"Is our school diverse enough?"

"Should gun control be a thing?"

Or, my favorite as of recently, "Should they have shot that gorilla?"

I have numerous opinions on all of these topics -- and maybe some of my thoughts are great, or right, or common -- but I don’t want to share them because of the fear that washes over me every time I open my mouth to say how I feel.

For those of us who have some form of social anxiety, it doesn’t matter how much we might want to open our mouths and be heard by others -- we can’t bring ourselves to do so because it makes us nervous, and even sick sometimes. We are always thinking of what we are going to say, planning a script in our head; but when we open our mouths, it's as if that script has been deleted from our mental hard drive and every word coming out of our mouth feels wrong. Or sometimes we become so flustered that we can't even think of words to say until two hours later when the perfect thought pops into our head after the fact. Because of this, we rarely find ourselves partaking in serious debates because it puts us in a place we dislike. So before you’re quick to criticize and assume those of us that sit back have no knowledge on the subject, or before you feel guilty that you don’t jump in every two seconds with your own opinion when sitting around with your friends, hear me out:

There are numerous reasons we choose to keep silent, and that’s OK.

First, we flat out just feel as if our opinions don’t matter. I know that’s absolutely crazy, because everyone’s opinions matter. And if you ever have the courage to speak out, don’t be afraid. Do it. Of course, it isn’t always that easy for us, especially when we feel as if our thoughts are constantly shut down, or we’re interrupted by someone with a louder voice. Each time that happens, it makes it easier and easier to be scared to speak again. We live in fear that whatever we say is irrelevant, that we are just white noise in the back of a room filled with thumping music.

More importantly, we might not enjoy confrontation. It’s hard enough for us to make phone calls, ordering food, or even going shopping. So when we’re put in a situation such as a political debate, we just shut down. That’s normal, but it does not mean that we are stupid or uneducated. It means that no matter how nice it may be to hear the opinions of your friends or colleagues, things can be taken out of hand. We choose not to partake in such heated debates because we all know that people can be so highly opinionated that our differences can lead to feuds, and even the end of friendships or relationships -- and more likely than not, most of us would choose to keep our opinion to ourselves than lose someone important to us.

Not to mention, people are highly unlikely to change their own opinion based on what one person has to say, so why argue with them? Of course, you’re probably going to think, “Well they could change their mind!” And you’re right, they could. And if you want to be that person to argue with them in an attempt to make them believe what you believe, go right ahead. Who knows? You could bring something to light they had never realized before, and more power to you for doing so. But it’s not that easy for the rest of us.

I believe those of us that don’t enjoy the intense debates would rather silently listen from afar. We choose to take in all the different opinions everyone has and the reasons behind them, rattling it all around in our head (with dozens of other thoughts) like a game of ping pong, until we come to our own conclusion on the subject. We aren't ignoring you, even if we pick up our phones to play a game or mindlessly scroll through the same debates online. We aren't careless. We are educated. We do have opinions. We are open-minded individuals just like everyone else. We only choose to keep our thoughts to ourselves in fear that what we say is foolish.

For all of you like me who prefer to stay quiet, I’d like to say one more time that it’s absolutely fine to do so, but don’t let that fear stop you every time. If you're having a good day, be loud and confident in what you have to say, because it is important.