As a person who strives to please everybody and avoid disappointing people at all costs, speaking my mind is really difficult. In fact, I would wager speaking one’s mind is a challenge for a lot of people. I think it is also safe to say it is hard to share your opinion on something without insulting or offending someone. You may even be thinking “It’s not my place to have an opinion” on a certain issue. We’re progressing into a world where it seems everyone is claiming their opinion as fact and anyone who disagrees is just wrong, plain and simple.
The beautiful thing about having an opinion (and sharing it) is the ability to learn and decide if your opinion is still your opinion down the road. I am the last person to want to bring up something controversial or discuss a hot topic and I find oftentimes when someone shares an opinion I don’t agree with, I’ll agree anyway for the sake of avoiding conflict. I would like to note that this is NOT okay. Each opinion matters, whether it is popular or not.
One of the biggest reasons why I rarely ever share my opinion on a controversial or heavy issue is that I deeply fear being told I’m part of the problem. I hear people tell other people they are “part of the problem” all the time. The phrase, or insult, is tossed around like a volley ball at the beach. This kind of dialogue creates a tense, hostile environment where it seems more and more people decide it’s better to keep quiet. When that phrase hits my ears, all I can see are pointed fingers. Since when has anger and the “blame game” ever solved anything?
I think it is also important to realize that not having an opinion is not a bad thing. Because we are having so many discussions lately on topics that are loaded and often feel like a war zone, I feel like I am judged for not having an opinion when everyone else seems to have one already. Most of the time when I don’t have an opinion it is that I’m still not sure what is right or wrong in the situation, if there even is a right and wrong, that is. It means I’m still listening and paying attention and deciding how I feel after I’ve heard how everybody else feels.
The number one reason I rarely ever share my opinion on a controversial topic is that I’m not even sure my opinion is right. I’ll be so close to opening my mouth and then I’ll think, “Am I only thinking this because I’m a privileged white girl who has had a relatively easy life?” As soon as I think this, I shut my opinion down and automatically discount it. What I’m going to say next is the most important part of my rant and if it offends anyone I am truly, sincerely sorry: I personally feel like my opinions shouldn’t be disqualified, downsized, criticized, or tossed away due to the privilege I was born into. I am not going to deny it and say my privilege hasn’t affected how I think about and see the world, because it definitely has. Why should that make my thoughts, opinions, and beliefs less valuable to the broader social dialogue? I am constantly being told to “check my white privilege at the door” but I don’t even know how to separate myself from it. I can’t tell what is me and what is my privilege. I want people to be happy, to have a shot at love, to have equal job opportunities and to be credited where credit is due. I want less hate and more love, but I fear I think about it all too simplistically or idealistically because I’m sheltered and privileged.
Having an opinion, as I have said earlier, is beautiful because it is due to change. Life is about learning and changing and people change their opinions all the time. Admitting you’re wrong is nothing to be ashamed of, and no matter how well you phrase your thoughts you are possibly going to offend someone. It’s inevitable. Regardless of whether someone’s opinion comes off as ignorant, rude, or xenophobic, they have a right to their own opinion. This is often forgotten but it is true. There are many opinions out there I think are absolutely horrible, but I’m not that person, I don’t know how they think or what they’ve experienced as a human being on this planet, but their opinion still matters and they have a right to share it.
In conclusion, sharing your opinion, if or when you have one, is vital to the evolution and progression of the social movements in our society. All voices matter when trying to find the right path to love and acceptance. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you probably shouldn’t share your opinion, ask yourself why that is. Is it that you’re not sure if your opinion is really your own or is it that you aren’t in an environment that feels open enough to hear it? Regardless, no matter what your gender is, where you come from, what your race or ethnicity is, how you identify yourself, what your religion, spirituality or beliefs are, who you are friends with, who your family is, how much money you have, or what you have or haven’t experienced in your life, your opinions still matter and deserve to be heard. There are a lot of complicated things going on in this world, but I think this is pretty damn simple.
