Hi, my name is Colleen and I have social anxiety.

You probably know what general anxiety is, but you might not know what social anxiety is. Right now, you might be thinking that it is being afraid of being social. Now you are thinking "how is a person scared of being social?" In a sense, it is being scared of being social, but in the same way, it is not. I bet I just confused you even more. Let me help you understand it even more by explaining to you some things that I feel.

I hate talking in class.

I can guarantee you will almost never see me raising my hand in class. Why? It's a combination of a lot of stuff. One being all of the eyes on me. I hate having people look at me. If I get called on, the only thing running through my head is "what if I get the answer wrong?". I'm telling you that even if a teacher asked what two plus two is, I still wouldn't answer. Because what if I accidentally say five instead of four? Might I add, public speaking is a worst nightmare for someone with social anxiety. Standing in front of a classroom? ALONE? With all eyes on me? Oh. My. Gosh. No. Just get me out of there. Please and thank you.

I almost always feel like I am annoying you.

If I have to send a text or email, or make a phone call, I probably feel like I am bugging you. This is why if I ever have to send you a double text, it will somewhere say "sorry for being so annoying!". I also HATE being the first to start a conversation. Why? Because what if you didn't want to talk to me? Then in my head you think I am annoying. Especially if you don't reply.

I have to rehearse what I am going to say.

It doesn't matter what I am doing, making a phone call or ordering food, I have to rehearse in my head what I am going to say about 500 times. Why? Because I can NOT mess up! If I mess up, I am going to get made fun of. Or so that is what I brain tells me.

I am scared to do the littlest things.

Sneezing in class? I will just hold it in. Why? Because if someone says "bless you," I have to say "thank you" and according to my brain, I might mess up saying "thank you" and say "you thank" instead. Thanks, brain for all the encouragement. Getting up to use the bathroom or throw something away? It can wait until class is over. Because if I get up, everyone is going to watch me walk to the front of the class, and that is the last thing I want. Paying for something? My debit card or money has to be out and ready to go before I get on line. Because if it's not ready, people behind me might get mad if I take a minute to get my things out.

I get nervous to go out with friends.

Now this one might have you scratching your head. Yes, they are my friends. It's the going out part. What if I get really anxious and can't get out of the situation? Just ask anyone who has social anxiety, before we go out with our friends we want to back out at the last minute. We start panicking. Why am I shaking? Because I'm being social, that's why. But I will just tell you "I don't know why I am shaking! Sometimes it just happens...I guess." However, it's almost always worth it to go through with it and have fun in the end with your friends.

If you know someone who has social anxiety, next time you go out with them, provide them some comfort. Let them know that if they feel like they need to leave, it's OK. Tell us that you will be there for us. Know that they might be a little nervous at first, even if they are your best friend, but nine times out of 10, we will always end up having fun. Include us! Please don't assume that because we get nervous we don't want to be included. That just makes it worse, if we aren't invited because we figure that maybe we annoy you or you don't like us which is why we weren't invited. Yeah, our brains tend to make very exaggerated guesses a lot. Understand if we don't feel like doing something. Don't force us to do stuff. One thing that works well for me is making plans on the spot. It gives me less time to think about it and back out. Lastly, please just be there for us. Give us encouragement! We love hearing people say they are proud of us, or that we did well.