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Why Listicles Suck: A Listicle

Kyle Juell
Sep 01, 2015
University of South Carolina Upstate
53
Why Listicles Suck: A Listicle

So, no real surprise here. Everyone who can write understands the convenience and minimal amount of mental capacity required to create a listicle. Holding the reader's attention for less than 2 minutes is ideal, complete with cute photos and the occasional "omg same." Also, they're incredibly convenient when you are almost 12 hours late on your deadline (sorry Josh). Anyways, here's my listicle about why you probably hate listicles.

1. You probably don't actually relate, it's just vague enough to make you think so.

Are me and my friends really like this? Does everyone in my hometown really think this way?

2. Is the list in any order of importance? If you read it backwards, will it still make sense?

I must know which way to read this so as to not spoil anything for myself.

3. Is there a standard number for said list in a listicle? How long should they be? You don't really want to spend more time reading one than I should.

Really, I have things to do.

4. If it were in article form, you probably wouldn't read it (I know I've lost the 75% of you who thought you'd be seeing photos of puppies or something about your sisterhood).

OMG MY FRIENDS YAY.

5. So. Boring. Unless they contain photos of puppies or anecdotes about your sisterhood or hometown.

OMG MY FRIENDS YAAAAAAAAAAAY.

6. Anything you decide to read on the toilet out of convenience is not worth your time reading.

Nothing read on the toilet should have a positive impact on your life. Except my other articles, they're great shit-reads. But not this one. Don't read this on the toilet.

7. Is this bullet just a last gasp effort to extend the list?

Yes.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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