As pools open this weekend for Memorial Day, I look back to the memories I made the past four years being a lifeguard. This is my first year not lifeguard-ing and you can bet I already miss it. To all of the future lifeguards out there, enjoy it.
1. "You got designer shades just to hide your face" from the sun.
That mid-afternoon glare can be brutal, so it's a must to have your sunnies. Plus, they allow you to watch people more in-depth than they actually think.
2. "Boom! Clap! The sound of my heart" jumping for joy when I hear a clap of thunder.
Clearing everyone away from a pool is such a blessing, especially after a long day of work.
3. "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." Whistles are a lifeguard's best friend.
You get to use them if you don't want to scream across the pool and twirl them around like you're a professional twirler.
4. "Let me see if you can run it, run it." Don't even try.
Listen the first time we ask you to walk and maybe you won't fall and hurt yourself.
5. "Just breaaaaathe." Please breathe. Please.
Please don't see who can hold their breath the longest. That's a fear all lifeguards encounter.
6. "Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams" of leaving early.
When it's raining, just don't come to the pool and ruin every lifeguard's dream of leaving early.
7. "Do the stanky legg." More like the stanky eye.
Those troublemaker kids know exactly the look you get when they know they're misbehaving.
8. "Who says you can't go home?" The family that walks into the pool 30 minutes before closing.
Never be those people. Please, I beg you.
9. "I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two, you'll be there." You better be because I'll be watching the clock.
When your shift on the stand is up and the person supposed to be up isn't there for what seems to be a lifetime when it's only an hour.
10. "Ooh I'm about to dive in."
Nothing is more tempting than jumping off the stand and into the water on a hot summer's day. Everyone can watch themselves for a minute while you cool off...right?
11. "HEHOHOHOOEE WIPE OUT!"
Watching the diving board is probably the most entertaining portion of the job. You never know the tricks and flips people can do (or the belly flops).
12. "Cause baby, now we've got bad blood." Yeah, it's a mess.
Sometimes you question how people injure themselves but you are always there to help them through the pain.
13. "Smells like teen spirit" or the chlorine.
Yes, the smell will carry with you throughout the entire summer.
14. "So fresh, so clean." Maybe just not the bathrooms.
Manual labor sucks. Cleaning the pool, the bathroom, taking out the trash, all a mess but you want the guests to be happy.
15. "The tan lines may fade but the memories will last forever." Nope, you will never be able to get rid of them.
By the time next summer comes around, you'll still be able to see a faint tan line where you'll reminisce your time on the stand. But the truth is, you will always have the memories you make, no matter what job you have. So my advice is to make the most of it while you're there because you could move on to a new job sooner than you think.
