I recently have been hooked on Justin Bieber's song "Life is Worth Living" from his new album "Purpose." From the moment I heard it, it was as if hundreds of memories flooded my mind from past experiences. I have been through a lot within the past two years. From loving myself to hating myself overnight, and everything in between. Too many times before, I felt as if life was meaningless, filled with hopelessness and pain. It wasn't until I finally took some time for myself that I found my value in life. And because of this, this song deeply resonates with me.

His refrain reads:

Life is worth living
Life is worth living, so live another day
The meaning of forgiveness
People make mistakes, doesn't mean you have to give in
Life is worth living again
Life is worth living again

Recently, I am working on forgiving others. If you know anything about me, you understand that I am a sensitive person that takes nearly anything personal. I have tried over and over again to not let frivolous things get to me, working through my emotions head-on, and leaving them behind. Although that isn't always the case. There is one situation for which I am currently working on forgiveness. Not necessarily because I owe them that, but rather so I can come to peace with my past and move toward a better future. I want to forgive so I can move on and place the focus on myself. How do you become a better person when you let a past situation define you? I am more than that. I am stronger than anyone may believe and I want to make a difference, starting with myself.

Sure, people make mistakes. I've made plenty of mistakes and I still have people surrounding me. They have learned to accept me and forgive me for the times I've messed up. For that, I am grateful. I'm not sure I can give in and move forward with them beside me, but if I can move forward and take me with, then I consider improving myself accomplished. Life is worth living, regardless of the mistakes made or the actions committed against us. I am working to find value beyond what meets my eye.

Beyond forgiveness, I have always worried what people think of me. I do my best to act "as normal as possible" because I always thought it was better for everyone around me. It isn't until after I feel comfortable when I start saying silly things, dancing in public, and walking around without socks on. (They are very stinky and my toes are highly unattractive... Consider yourself lucky if you have been around my exposed feet). Aside from my behaviors, I struggle with my appearance. What I would do for a different body shape, smaller thighs, or flatter stomach. I've had comments made to me that have addressed my body in a negative way, adding to the pressure to look a certain way to satisfy others and meet their expectations.

Justin's verse reads:

I laugh too loud and talk in my sleep. I snack too much and over-work myself. I have severe anxiety because I want to create the best life possible for myself. I put too much pressure on myself and others to do their best. My desk is constantly messy and am overly sentimental. I expose my emotions too often and get caught up in the bad situations happening around me. The list could continue of things I dislike about myself, but I think you get my point.

I am not perfect and I won't deny it. So here's to me working on a better me. No, I will not change my laugh or stop pushing myself to be the best I can be. I will not hide my emotions and my desk will probably be a mess until the day I move out. I am working on loving myself. I want to find my value again. Here's to me learning to love the parts of me I have considered bad, ugly, and messy for too long. Here's to me learning to forgive myself, love myself, and push myself to become a better person.

Life is too short to do anything but live it. Through my newfound commitment of self-appreciation and active role in forgiveness, I hope to come to find my value once more. Life is worth living and even if I need a J Biebs song to play on my Pandora to tell me that, then so be it. For the first time in a long time, I can say that life has meaning and I am so, so glad to be alive.