Lies we hear have a tendency to grow into insecurities. Insecurities have a tendency to grow into sin. Guess who knows this? The Devil. Guess who tells us these lies? Guess who banks on our insecurities? Guess who wants us to sin? You guessed it. Satan.Thankfully, I have some good news to share on that front. The author of lies has already lost to The Author of Truths. Satan has already been condemned. Jesus is already victorious!
The battles in our minds and our hearts wage on, but the war is already won. It’s time for us to stop believing these lies! Below I’ve listed just a few of the lies, insecurities, and sins I believe to be most common among high school and college aged women. I’ve also found multiple scriptures to disprove each of these lies. I think it’s time we start fighting these lies with Truths taken straight from The Word of God. Common insecurities, lies from the Devil, and the sins that can result when we believe them:
Lie:
I feel very misunderstood by God. I let myself believe that I am too small for God, and that He doesn’t see me. I don’t remember that Jesus understands every part of me, good and bad, and loves me still. Because of this, I doubt myself. I live my life as if God won’t hear or answer my prayers. I don’t ask for things, because I don’t believe He will hear me. I don’t seek His will for my life, nor do I ask Him to align my heart with His desires. I end up making all the wrong decisions for myself because I didn’t trust God enough to bring anything to Him.
Truth:
The Lord hears my prayers. He understands me because He created me. I’ll never have a single thought that He didn’t know about before the beginning of time. He’ll answer me if I believe that He will.
Proof: This is the confidence we have in approaching God: That if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 1 John 5:14
When we ask for things, we should be asking them according to God’s will. We should recognize that His ways are higher than ours, and if His answer is no, then something better awaits. This can be so difficult to do! Letting go of control can feel impossible, but we have to do so while reminding ourselves of the freedom that waits for us in the arms of Jesus.
More Proof: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Notice the words ask, seek, and knock. He answers those who call to Him.
TRUTH: Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. 2 Timothy 2:7
God wants to be our listening ear, our shoulder to cry on, our place of refuge, our ever present help, our perfect father, and our best friend. So, let Him be these things. And when we trust Him in this way, the way that we see and understand our outward circumstances will begin to change.
Lie:
I recognize my differences as negative. I doubt God’s divine workmanship. I forget that God doesn’t make mistakes. By buying into self-doubt and self-pity, I’m believing the lie that I’m an exception to the fact that God creates us all in His likeness. I also compare myself to others and I question the gifts that God has (or hasn’t) given me. I find myself wishing that God had made me better or different. These comparisons also can cause me to judge others, or treat them unkindly. I am not always quick to accept and love those who are different from me, and I dismiss them too quickly.
Truth:
Yes, my brain is different! It’s original, but that’s s a good thing, because that’s how God intended for it to be! How boring would it be if everybody thought in the same way? Our Father is far more creative than that. God doesn’t make mistakes. All of us are made in His image, to be like Him, while still being different from one another. He perfectly crafted all that mush inside our heads to work exactly how He planned for it to. He designed the way we think. He architected our personalities, and He is Lord over every little thing inside our heads and our hearts. God makes each of us unique, and He equips everyone with different gifts.
Proof: You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mothers womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous- how well I know it! Psalm 139:13-14
If you ever just take a minute to stop and think about how complex human anatomy is, that alone should assure you of the creativity and genius of our God!
More Proof: Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us…” Genesis 1:26
Even More proof: It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have. 1 Corinthians 12:11
God gave each of us specific gifts for specific reasons. Get excited, because there are special things that you are good at, and God wants to use these things to further His Kingdom! Even if you don’t know what these gifts are, prepare yourself to be used by God in mighty ways!
TRUTH: May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, The Father or our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. Romans 15:5-7
Talk about a truth bomb. Those in the body of Christ are all made differently but with a few very important similarities: We are all made in God’s image, We are all equally broken sinners, and despite our sinful nature we are all redeemed, forgiven, and accepted by Our Savior. It’s wrong for us to judge our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are all so guilty of deeming people as ‘weird’ or ‘different.’ We forget to love our neighbors because all we see is our differences. We become blind to these critical similarities found in each of us. Fight this! We are called to accept each other as Christ has accepted us. This means completely, unconditionally, and whole heartedly.
Lie:
I feel very physically unattractive sometimes. I feel I’m not pretty, or skinny, or (insert ANY adjective) enough. I get upset when boys don’t pursue me, and I let myself believe that I am unworthy of their love. I rely on outward beauty to attract the attention of the wrong kinds of men because I am afraid of being alone. If my attention-seeking plots don’t work, I let myself believe it’s because I’m not good enough. At times, I have felt like I need to have a boyfriend in order to be happy. I worry that if The Lord has called me to a life of singleness, this means that I will be unhappy or unfulfilled. These feelings cause me to question God’s plans for my life. They also cause me to become very impatient with God, as I want to know and understand His plans for me right now.
Truth:
I am a beautiful creation made in God's image. When He sees me, He sees something gorgeous, and He is filled with pride for His Creation. Everything about you and me was intentionally crafted by the same God who paints the sunsets in the sky each night, and the same God who breathed the stars into existence. God’s opinions of our beauty translate into facts. God says you’re beautiful. Therefore, you are beautiful. No earthly opinion can alter what is fact. If The Lord wills for you to be a wife and a mom like so many of us hope He does, whoever He is preparing to be your future husband is going to love you in spite of and maybe even because of the things you feel insecure about. These men that I’m hoping The Lord has for me and for you will be everything we ever thought we wanted and everything we never knew we needed. And if not, then praise be to God for all of the better things he has waiting for us in singleness. God sees the desires of our hearts, and takes these into account, but he ultimately knows what’s best for us. Patiently wait on His will, but also be productive in singleness. Don’t wait for Mr. Right to come along to start your life, because:
Mr. Right is already here, and He loved you and desired you so much that He gave up everything to know you. He walked on the Earth as a man, died a brutal death, fought (and beat) all of hell, and then rose again on the 3rd day. The Savior of the world pursues you every single day, and once you fully understand that fact, waiting on some human man to pursue you starts to seem really silly.
Proof: You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. Song of Songs 4:7
More Proof: “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares The Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Even if those plans don’t include a husband, we can rejoice in the fact that His plans are here to prosper us and not to harm us. (Man, God is so good! His word truly leaves no leaf unturned, no fear left standing, and every doubt disproven.) If that plan means winding up single with 40 cats (kidding), then we can take joy in the fact that we won’t be alone with 40 cats (still kidding) because Jesus stands by our side for eternity.
Even More Proof: “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When He discovered a pearl of great value, He sold everything he owned and bought it! Matthew 13:45-46
Would you like to know who said those words? Jesus! And guess what sister, He’s the merchant, and you are the pearl! He gave up everything He owned so that you could be bought. Talk about a confidence booster! The King of Kings looks at you, and sees something invaluable! A choice pearl! He gave it all to buy your redemption, and He continues to do anything and everything to get you to walk with Him.
TRUTH: Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God accept the authority of their husbands. 1 Peter 3:3-5
God tells me that I am beautiful, but regardless, this physical beauty shouldn’t even matter, as it holds no weight or importance in light of eternity. We should instead focus on improving the things about us that will matter: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
DISCLAIMER: Ladies, please do not think that the term “gentle and quiet spirit” means that God wants you to be something different than who He created you to be! I, for example, am not a quiet person. God’s not telling us to look pretty and shut up. He’s not insinuating that women are to be seen and not heard. He’s telling us how we should love with gentleness.
LIE:
I worry that I don’t have the type of friends who will stand by me. I feel like an outsider, and I let other people’s opinions of me define how I feel about myself. Because of this, I am not being the type of friend that I should be to others. I also disregard the fact that I have a perfect, unconditional, forever friend in Jesus.
TRUTH:
This one is tricky. The Bible clearly states that man should not be alone. God gave us the gift of friendship for a reason. So what are we supposed to feel if true, Christ-honoring friendship isn’t something that we are experiencing? Pray. He hears our prayers, ladies, and He answers them. The answer might be ‘wait’, or ‘not right now’, or ‘not in this way’, or it might even be ‘no, what I have is better.’ It’s not our job to tell God how to answer our prayers. All we have to do is present our requests to Him, and trust that He knows what He’s doing. We also have to be the type of friend to other people that we would want to have ourselves. Sometimes building friendships is hard, and you have to be entirely selfless and completely intentional about it. Loneliness is a really hard thing to handle, but we just have to keep on reminding ourselves of the Truth. We are never alone, we have been bought with a price, and we have the perfect friend in Jesus. We have to trust God with all of our desires, including our desires about friendship.
Proof: If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to Him in Prayer! Job 11:13
Oh, what wonderful things we can experience if we just dedicated ourselves to prayer
Proof: Then he said, ‘Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer. Daniel 10:12
Not only do we need to present our requests to God, but we need to ask Him to help us understand His answers. Come to the throne humbly and expectant.
Even More Proof: This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other. John 15: 12-16
This is Jesus telling us how to be good friends. By loving each other This is also Jesus telling us that we are His (Savior of the world, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End) friends! He claims that we are His friends because He has told us all that the Father has told Him. And if that doesn’t get you just psyched out of your mind, than I don’t know what will! He chose us. And now he sends us out to love one another, and ask for things in His name.
TRUTH: As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17
In order to have godly friendships, we have to be godly friends! Encourage one another in love, and point each other up towards heaven.
There are “friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer to a brother. Proverbs 18:24
Ladies, for goodness sakes, stop being “Frenemies." Be nice to each other. Don’t hug that girl in your chem class one minute, and then go trash talking her the next. If you want to have real friends, you need to actively strive to be a real friend.
LIE:
I often think that I can’t handle my own life. Sometimes I convince myself that it is all too much, or I let myself be overwhelmed and overcome by my anxiety and doubt. I forget that God doesn’t test us beyond what we can handle, and because of this, I sin. I am tested, and I fail because I rely on my strength alone.
TRUTH:
It’s true. I can’t handle this life. I can’t keep from feeling overwhelmed. I can’t overcome daily adversities. Alone. However, I can do all of these things with the help of Christ. I think so often, the reasons we aren’t getting the help we need, is because we aren’t asking for it! Apart from Jesus we are nothing, but in Him, we can be anything.
Proof: I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Yes, this is a common verse that we have heard a million times, but we shouldn’t let this good news get old! How amazing is it, that we really can do all things through Christ? All it takes is a little faith.
More Proof: The Lord will be a refuge for the oppressed, A stronghold in times of trouble; And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord wants to be a place of refuge for us when we’re overwhelmed. Once we trust Him, He will never forsake us.
Even More Proof: For I, The Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the One who helps you.” Isaiah 41:13
What a sweet image this is- our loving Father holding our hand, helping us. He really is always by our side.
TRUTH: Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted. Hebrews 2:18
I often forget the fact that Jesus made Himself a human being, with human emotions. He was tempted and tested in the same ways that we are, and because of this He can help us.
TRUTH: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
Rest in the fact that while he can tempt us, and hurt us while we’re here on Earth, the Devil’s got nothing on us in light of eternity.
He runs in fear from The One living within us. So own it! Fight back with truth.
