We all have our fair share of unhealthy relationships and certainly experienced the full toxicity of them. All those emotional damages caused, late-night calls to our closest friends for consolation and lastly, running back to your exes and begging them to take you back when the going gets rough. Of course, this list goes on and on.
However, why is it so hard for people to let go of things which give them nothing but pain and misery?
It is pretty ironic because escapism should be their first and most sensible option when trapped in such an unfavorable scenario. Instead, we tried our best to contemplate the reasons they gave, be it ridiculous excuses or not.
Well, I guess this would be the many detrimental effects of being in love. Even the most illogical of reasons would somehow make sense.
We just thought that perhaps, things would be better soon. Or, letting go would be totally unthinkable given how invested we were in the relationship.
The thing is, nobody would ever think of letting go unless they have reached their breaking point.
Personally, letting go could have been the hardest challenge for me. I have always been a sentimental person, especially when it comes to relationships. I enjoy the idea of remembering past memories so vividly and sharply that they have literally been burned into my brain.
All these aspects have been really helpful especially during catch-up sessions with pals whom I have not met for a long time. We just look back at those mental scrapbooks filled with fond memories together and have a good time laughing our hearts out.
However, if I wanted to have a clean slate or a feeling of new beginnings after a major tragedy, they would be the worst barrier ever. Instead of taking a stroll down memory lane, I found myself reliving the entire situation, but with much more intensive feelings.
I was stuck with the idea that I would never be able to move on properly. It just felt like I was still living in the past with the company of my worst nightmare.
Gradually with years, I slowly am understanding that in order to feel free again, I have to unload certain emotional baggage. I need to stop chasing after feelings or memories which may inflict pain.
The question is letting go or trying harder — which one is the way to go?
The important lesson here is to find a balance between these two. Giving up and letting go are two different matters, and it can reflect a lot about someone's maturity level.
So, hold on for as long as you can then let go. Try as hard as you can before you let go. Work on issues together because this is what being in a relationship is all about.
When you both have reached the breaking point, letting go may be the more sensible option. This is how you both would be able to move on healthily after knowing that what could've been done has already been done.
Things may not always go our way in life, however, at least we know that we are not living an illusion. I would prefer to have the cold hard truth thrown in my face, rather than living a lie.