Hey friend,
It was any normal, summer day. I woke up, I went to the gym, and I watched Netflix. Then, I saw posts on social media with words like “prayers” and “strong” and I knew something was terribly wrong. I immediately got that pit in my stomach, that feeling you get when something horrible happens and there’s nothing you can do to turn back time. I texted my friends asking if my gut reaction was right and I heard the unthinkable. "There's no way it was as bad everyone was saying," I thought, even though your teammates had already visited you hospital. There’s no way you could’ve been fighting for you life, I had seen you only a week before.
Our last encounter I’ll never forget. You were talking about playing on the rugby team that weekend and how you were considering walking on to the basketball team. You had ambition, you had hopes, and you were going to make those dreams come true.
People aren’t supposed to leave forever at 21 years old. They aren’t supposed to have their dreams cut short. But it happens. It happens by accident, it happens by mistake, and it happens for a reason we just don’t know.
But, to my friend, I choose not to dwell on the past. I don’t dwell on the fact that no matter what I do, I can’t change the outcomes of that fateful day. But what I can change is myself. I gather strength and composure from you. I realize that no matter how hard life seems, you never complained and managed to succeed. Though I could never emulate the happiness and confidence you did, I try a little bit each and every day.
I look down at my wrist easily hundreds of times a day and I see the bracelet we were given with your name, still trying to comprehend why this happened. I ask God and I talk with Him about why bad things happen to good people. There is a strange reminder in the back of my mind that the light you brought to this world was far greater than every one else. It was purely quality over quantity with you.
Though I would do anything for one more day to toss a baseball or throw a football on the quad on a warm, Spring afternoon, I have come to peace as much as I can with your passing. You were so full of life. But turning back time won’t change your big smile and the way we remember you. We, as your friends, teammates, brothers, and sisters, will always be just that. You’re in our hearts and minds, and we think about you every day.
Life moves on, but we don't move on. We are forever suspended in those few days where it was brought to our attention how fragile life is and how those who are lucky enough to continue each day should live life to the fullest degree. You taught us so much, and for that, I thank you. I know I'll see you again someday.
Love,
Your Friend
