I have been avoiding thinking about you because every time that I do, I feel as if a fraction of my life begins to crumble again. Of course I know that this is selfish, and of course, I think of you daily. Every day something happens that I wish I could tell you, and it is hard to accept that I will not be able to call you and fill you in anymore. This, of course, does not mean that I don't know that you are with me every step of the way on the journey that life takes me on, it just seems unfair to not be able to hear your voice and your opinions on the matter.
I dreamed as if we would have forever, and constantly let it slip my mind that we did not. We built lives involving one another, and it seemed impossible that one day I would have to let that go. You lived much of a life without me in it, but for the first time, I have to live mine without you. It will definitely be an adjustment, one I obviously do not want to make, but one that I know I have to.
You were such an amazing person, and I know that every day you woke up with a smile on your face and made sure that you would live that day to the fullest that you could. You worked hard to make others happy, but never lost sight of what made you happy — which mostly went hand in hand with making others happy. I see a lot of you in myself and strive to live every day as you would, and in your honor. I always have, and always will strive to be at least half of the person that you were, because I know that by doing that I will make a difference in the world.
I wonder what it is like up there, and although I miss you more and more each day I know that this was better for you in the end. I know that you are at peace and that you are no longer suffering. I hope that each day now is spent doing everything you have always loved, and looking down on all of us smiling.
But none of this will ever mean that I do not miss you, because I do, and I will, every day for the rest of my life. You were more than loved, you were cherished, and I am grateful to have even been able to spend this time with you. The world seems a little bit darker now, but I know that as the light returns you will remain in our hearts and will continue to be a part of our lives. You were loved by so so many people, and it was a dreadful day for everyone to see you go.
Thank you for being so much to me, and for being a part of my life. I appreciate every little thing you have ever done, because it was all done with love. Thank you for living your life as you did because without you I would have lost a part of my inspiration, and so would many others. Thank you for inspiring, and thank you for dreaming.
You will always be loved, and live in infamy in our hearts.
This is never goodbye but always see you later.
Your loved one