I understand that by writing this and not having a complete grasp on living with mental illness myself, I run the risk of sounding offensive. I apologize if this comes across to anyone as offensive or triggering. I felt that this needs to be discussed in order to create a less violent and harsh environment in the future.
We live in an age where social media gives us access to the daily lives of friends and relatives all over the world. A few seconds or minutes to type up a status or share a photo is all it takes to keep the web updated on what you're doing and what you're going through. Recently, when I've logged onto Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, what have you, I've seen many posts where people are open to discuss living a life with such conditions as anxiety and depression (among countless others). I see posts everywhere offering advice on how to help people through a panic attack, or how to be there for someone struggling through depression.
Along with these posts, I see the war zone that is the comments section. For the most part, I come across heartwarming messages of support, or people sharing their own experiences. However, this is the internet we're talking about, which means there's negativity spread throughout, as well. Some of it is not harmful, more constructive criticism of how each person is different, and you shouldn't rely solely on the internet for resources, which is understandable. The people I wish to address are the ones who dismiss mental illness as unreal, and that people should "man up" and "get over it," the people who assume that those with mental illness are "lazy" or "faking it," the ones who say simply that they're just "weird."
I do not live with any mental illness, so I cannot and will not say I understand what someone with a mental illness goes through on a day-to-day basis. I have friends and loved ones who live with it, though, and I see how it affects their daily lives. I see the struggles they go through when someone doesn't understand why they act the way they do and simply brushes them off as being over-dramatic. It's with these thoughts and those comments sections in mind that I deliver unto you, the reader, this simple message.
Let's erase this stigma surrounding mental illness.
The word "stigma" is defined as a mark of disgrace that sets someone apart. While this seems to be cancelled out more heavily nowadays by the equally thunderous waves and shouts of support and love, this idea that those with mental illness are "less than" still exists, and it is still very loud and clear. It comes out in words of exasperation, in cries of "I can't handle you" or "you're not worth my time." These phrases are venomous, and only makes it appear as though this group of society is toxic.
Like many parts of life, if we don't understand something, we usually do one of two things: respond with fear or seek to understand the thing that's so mystifying to us. While many do seek to understand mental illness, many are just as quick to dismiss it and walk away, without putting in any real effort. There's no shame in walking away if you try to understand and try to help and simply find that you cannot do it. In the end, that might be better for both you and the person you are trying to help. However, to simply walk away or attack them without first trying to grasp whatever it is they are dealing with, or at least trying to come to an understanding of how you can help them, only adds fire to the stigma surrounding mental illness.
Of course, that's not to say you shouldn't take your own health into consideration. Look out for yourself, too, and admit when something is too much for you to handle. That being said, there's no reason to make a group of people, whom a great deal are insecure about what affects them, feel worse than they already do. Talk to them calmly, like you would any other person. Support them without being suffocating. Help them through any episodes or attacks without completely coddling them. Admit when you also have a problem because support is a two way street. Don't assume they can't do anything for themselves because that is the farthest thing from the truth.
No one is asking you to become a therapist overnight. No one is demanding that you magically find a cure for all their problems. Hell, no one is asking you to completely understand right away. All anyone wants is support and an attempt to understand. The sooner we try to respond with a desire to learn rather than respond with fear and anger, the sooner this stigma can be erased.
