Knowing someone with a mental illness can be hard sometimes, I get it. Not being sure if they are having an alright day or a terrible day. The important thing is to be there for them when they need someone and to lend a helping hand when they need it. Having a mental illness doesn't define who you are. And, you should never judge someone who is struggling. There are things that you just shouldn't say to someone who has a mental illness, whether it's to their face or to someone else. Saying the wrong thing could just cause more pain and suffering to this person simply by the words that were said. You never know who is struggling with a mental illness. Sometimes it's the people you least expect.
Don't refer to someone by their illness.
Whether it is to their face or behind their back, do not refer to someone as their illness. Don't say that someone is the "depressed person" or the "anxious person," etc. Not only is it rude and hurtful, but it has the potential of causing more pain to the person suffering from the illness. These people are not defined by their illness. They are human beings who struggle with a mental illness.
Self-harm does not define a person.
Someone who self-harms is not "emo" or "goth." This is a person who is suffering, not someone who wants to be a stereotype. For some people who suffer with a mental illness, self-harm may help them to forget about the mental pains they have and take the attention away from it. To the physical pain they have created themselves, because it is something they were able to control. This does not make them "emo" or "goth."
You don't know their feelings.
You may think that you know how they're feeling and what they're going through, but you don't. Even if you struggle with the same mental illness or have gone though something similar to what they have, you can't know what is going on inside them. Everyone is different and everyone struggles differently. Telling an individual who is struggling that you know what they're going through is not going to help them, it will only make you feel like you're helping them. Everyone is different. Don't assume you know what is going on in their head.
It is not for attention.
Too many times in my life I have heard people talk about others they knew that was struggling with depression or another mental illness, claiming it is all for attention. Stop it. Do not say that struggling with a mental illness is not real and the people suffering from one is doing it for attention. Mental illnesses are a real thing that should be taken seriously; it is not a joke. And do not tell the person suffering that they are doing it for attention.
Mental illness does not make someone "broken" or "weak."
Just because someone has an illness that may make them seem "broken" or "weak" to you, they are not any of those things. People with mental illnesses are normal people. They are strong, creative, whole, successful people who just happen to have a mental illness. But it certainly does not make them weak. It makes them strong to have that battle and to fight it every day.
Don't try to be their doctors.
You might think that you know what is good for someone with a mental illness but, you really don't. Don't go around trying to "fix" someone just because you think you know what will help. Don't try to tell someone who is depressed to try to "change their attitude" and to "focus on the good things in life". Sure, this could help in certain moments but it will not help permanently. Don't tell someone who suffers from anorexia to just "eat more food", it's not that simple. You are not a doctor and you certainly don't know what they are going through and what will help them. Just support them and be there for them. Be a friend and supporter, not a doctor.
Mental illness isn't a choice.
People who suffer from a mental illness certainly don't choose to have this illness. Mental illnesses come from a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's not like someone just wakes up one morning and decides "I'm going to start struggling with depression now!" or "You know, having OCD would definitely be a good choice." No. No one chooses to have a mental illness. So, telling someone who is struggling that they could get better anytime they want isn't going to "help them." In fact, it is most likely going to insult them or hurt them to know that you think they chose to struggle.
Do not make fun of someone with a mental illness.
It is not funny and it is not a joke. Having a mental illness is a serious subject and should not be something to be made fun of. Don't make fun of someone with OCD because you think it is ridiculous. Don't make fun of someone with depression because you think that being happy is an easy thing to do. Don't make fun of someone with anxiety because you think that it's silly that certain things can make someone anxious and freaked out. Don't make fun of someone with an eating disorder because you love food and think it's a choice to not want to eat. Don't make fun of someone who is bipolar because you think they should be able to control themselves. Don't make fun of someone with any mental illness because it's something you don't understand. Just because you don't get it and it might not make any sense to you, doesn't mean it isn't real to someone who is struggling.
