I've never been in a real relationship
Start writing a post
Dating

I've Never Been In A Real Relationship

And I may never know what a "real" relationship is.

633
I've Never Been In A Real Relationship

All throughout high school, dating is an obsession. You want to know all the drama, date the cutest boys and always have a charming date to accompany you to every school dance. I am currently a junior in college and have never been in a real relationship. When I say real, I mean real for me, which makes me sound horrible, I know.

The longest relationship I've ever had lasted from early February to early March. The weird thing about this "relationship" is that he never asked me out. He asked me to go to the school winter-themed dance with him, and then suddenly Valentine's Day rolled around, and we were apparently a full-fledged couple.

Fun fact of the day: I did not want to be in a relationship with him (or anyone), at the time. If given the option, I would have said "No" to dating. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case and soon enough February had come and gone where I had spent too much time trying to avoid him and give him the cold shoulder.

I am not really the confrontational type so I was too afraid to break it off. Luckily, my birthday was at the end of February and I was feeling exceptionally confident.

Giphy

The best birthday gift I could ask for: breaking up with my boyfriend! So, just like that, the relationship was over. To be honest, it didn't feel like much had changed, because I am A++ at avoiding people. If I don't want to see you, you can bet your ass you will never be seeing me.

The only other relationship I had was even shorter than that one. I want to say that it didn't even last a week? I don't truthfully remember. It was a guy on my track team, who, for some reason, I WANTED so badly to ask me out because I thought he was cute. Lo and behold, when he did I was like,

Giphy

and broke it off almost instantly. Our entire relationship consisted of one track meet that we spent rooting for each other and spending our down time together, and a trip to a bowling ally with some mutual friends. We would talk everyday during track practice and text sometimes but again, I am a very evasive person.

The unanswered question of my life is, why? Why can't I hold a relationship? The weird thing is that I didn't dislike these guys. They were nice; they treated me well; they were funny--and yet I found myself getting so annoyed with someone actually caring about me.

The idea that I will never have a long-term relationship is a little scary to me. I don't WANT be to alone forever, but it looks like that is where I'm headed. Both of those relationships were back in high school and, for about four years now (including my senior year), I haven't even tried dating. To be fair, I haven't tried making friends either; which is probably something I should prioritize.

To be blunt, I don't think I posses a full set of human emotions. I'm pretty much just limited to sarcasm, joy, disgust and fear; I really think that's it. No love, admiration, surprise--I don't even think I feel sadness. It's hard to be in a relationship when all you can feel are one of those four emotions. Trust me when I tell you that disgust and sarcasm do not get you very far with a significant other. Hard to believe, I know.

Giphy

So, what did I do to try and uncover this existential crisis? I Googled it and came across an article called, "15 Reasons You Can't Keep a Boyfriend." Well, zero of these thing apply to me--that's fun. What I've found is that not a lot of people know what to say when you can't keep a relationship you just started. If you are dropping out of relationships one year in, these articles are for you. For me, however, there's not much.

After searching and searching, I finally found a piece that I can relate to. From LizziesAnswers, "8 Reasons I Hate Relationships." I don't align perfectly with everything she says, but the overall message is the same. I guess I just value my time, hobbies and personality too much to compromise it for someone else. So, really, I guess my mentality is something a bit like this:

Giphy

And, more so, I'm the best I can be when I'm alone. I'm going to go ahead and say that this isn't something I should be ashamed of. It has compromised relationships for me in the past and will probably impact any future ones I have, but I don't think I have a problem with that. I can't wait for my future posse of animals to keep me company.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

You know YOU are not determined by your romantic status

4477
How to Celebrate Valentine's Day Without a Valentine
https://www.southbostontoday.com/celebrating-valentines-day-in-southie-next-thursday-of-course/

Although the most romantic and love-filled holiday is right around the corner, it's important to know that Feb.14, the middle day of the shortest month of the year, doesn't need to be determined by your current romantic status. With that being said, you can either choose to sulk over the fact that you're single or you can make the best out of Valentine's Day without even having one.

Here are a few ideas to celebrate the day:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

7 Fun Facts About The Eiffel Tower

The iconic landmark is reinventing itself with a splashy new color.

7541
Eiffel Tower

Soon, the 2024 Summer Olympics are coming to Paris, and the Eiffel Tower will be in the spotlight.

Embedded so much into Paris's identity, the iconic landmark is no stranger to historic events and world-class gatherings over the years. It is sure to shine again.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

You don't just start as the person you are meant to be; there is a journey full of ups and downs that mold a person, so this is my journey.

6278
Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

Overall I'd love to say I grew up a happy overly enthusiastic child that was taught to love herself and be loved by everyone else, but I can't say that and I never will. My smile wasn't always as bright as it is today, but this is the story behind my smile, the story about how I got here to the happiest place I'll ever be. I'll begin at freshman year of high school.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

Just remember sometimes it is gonna hurt, whether we want it to or not!

8156
The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants
Where to start...... Let me start with the cliche that life throws us curveballs and what we do with it is what counts.

One day he walked into my life. UNEXPECTED! And one day he walked out!

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

See which conversations rose to the top on Odyssey this week!

6639
Pixabay

New response writers means exciting new conversations on Odyssey! We're proud to spotlight our talented creators and the topics that matter most to them. Here are the top three response articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments