I am no longer part of the dating game but being on the other side of it I am able to see how much of a campaign it is. I am happily married, and my husband and I still go out on dates, it is important to our marriage. There are differences now than when we were first going out.
The first part of dating, it is all about appearances. There is no way you would let the man or woman of your dreams in an unflattering light. Snapchat filters, camera angles, and Photoshop are just some of the tools used in the campaign. Social media gets a wash as well, making sure that all unflattering photos are deleted or untagged.
The First Date Primping media2.giphy.com
After you have been with someone for a while, the primping stops. Late nights with pizza and ice cream in your pajamas become part of the routine. This, of course, is only after you are sure you have got them. A good man or woman will tell you they love you no matter what you look like.
The biggest part of dating is empty promises. Yes, they are a big part of dating. When a couple starts dating there are nice dinners, flowers, gifts, all kinds of things for no reason. The truth is there is a reason, they are trying to get you into the relationship. You start to expect that these things will continue when you are engaged, married, living together, etc. This is not always true.
Flowers only come on special occasions, and then not all of them. Nice dinners are fewer and farther in between because you have a budget and it is cheaper to make dinner at home. Gifts for no reason are almost non-existent. It falls into the same category, the budget. It is not that you are loved any less, but life goals take money.
Here is my suggestion for anyone running their own campaign. Be real! Don't present yourself in a way you are not. Wear what you wear on a regular basis. It's okay to dress up now and then, but if you have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for a man or woman, they probably aren't for you.
There is no reason to stop doing what you love for someone else. It will work out better if you find out early on if the person is interested in you for you. Love to read, don't stop. Find books that you love together. Go to a bookstore together. If you love to run or hike, do it with them. Trust me, never stop doing what makes you happy.
I am happy to be with a man who loves me for me. We both enjoy reading and share that hobby. We love the outdoors and do things together. Our life goals line up. Remember in running your campaign, to keep it real. Do what you love to do, and do not let anyone take that from you.
Be yourself, do not dull your shine for anyone. Be bright, be you, those are the keys to a happy life and a happy relationship.
