"It's Fine."

"It's Fine."

Everything is great, right?
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Let's be honest, how many times has someone asked you how you were doing or how classes were going and your response was, "it's fine" when it really wasn't? If you are like me, it happens multiple times a day. In fact, it has kind of become a joke between my friends and me. As everything in our lives seem to be falling apart we smile, laugh, and say, "it's fine". It might be funny in the moment, but in reality, everything seems to be working against you and it really is not humorous.

I am sure you have all heard people say or have seen posts on the internet claiming that "i'm fine" is the most told lie. If we know this, 1) why do we let ourselves move on without hesitation when someone tells us they are fine if we know that they most likely really are not, and 2) why do we keep telling others that we are fine when we really are not?

Friends, it is okay to admit that you are not fine.

We are in college. We barely know how to adult. We do not have to have everything in life figured out, I promise.

We mess up. We fail. We find ourselves in difficult situations. There are going to be so many days where life seems to be falling apart, and those are the days we should be reaching out to our friends and families for love and support. We should not have to feel as though we need to hide the fact that things are not fine. We were made both for community and love. You will only find those things when you reach out, not when you respond, "It's fine", and you will only give those things when you reach out to those who respond, "It's fine" to you.

Be the person others know they can count on, but do not let that keep you from counting on others as well. Just because you hold other people together does not mean you do not need someone to hold you together sometimes. You are worthy of the same care and affection you give to others.

Telling others how you really are is challenging. I do not suggest you display all of the inner feelings of your heart on social media, but opening your heart to your close friends will do wonders. You might not find yourself as alone in your interior battles as you may have thought. Take the risk and open up. You are not helping yourself or anyone else when your go to response is, "It's fine".

The next time someone asks how you are doing, although it might be much easier to tell them the lie, tell them the truth. The next time you ask someone how they are doing seek an authentic response. You never know if your thoughtfulness and genuine interest in how someone is doing will provoke the conversation that gives them the hope and strength to get through the day.

Cover Image Credit: Odyssey

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Your Health Journey Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint

Perfection takes time.

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When you first start to do something, you have all of the motivation in the world to accomplish that goal set out in front of you, especially when it comes to being healthier. The problem is as you continue through this journey and food and laziness kick in, motivation slips. It's human, and it happens to everyone no matter how physically strong they are.

Trying to be healthier doesn't always mean losing weight. It can be so your knees don't ache as much, so you don't feel as out of breath climbing stairs, or any goal you have set for yourself. Being healthier is personal and different from person to person.

I will be the first to admit that there are plenty of changes I would love to make about myself. From my weight to my body type and many other things about myself inside and out. I am by no means the most confident person about how I look, but I have worked hard for the past year to be an overall healthier person.

Becoming healthier isn't about looking thinner or fitting into a specific size of clothes. It is about taking care of yourself from eating better to working out more. There comes a feeling of confidence in what your body can do if you put a little love in it.

Perfection takes time, and I know firsthand how frustrating trying to be healthier can be.

Pizza tastes so much better than salad. It is so easy to fall into a rhythm of something that seems never to change whether that is your weight or your mile time. Sadly, you can't build a city, or become healthier overnight.

We see people who are thinner, curvier, smarter, faster, and so much more than us. We all waste time comparing ourselves to people around us and on our timelines, but some of our biggest strengths are our individuality and the gift of getting back up after falling down.

All I can say is, please don't give up on your goal of being healthier because this is solely for you. We can have a great support system in the world and have everyone in our corner, but that isn't enough.

You need yourself. You need to know that if you don't entirely put yourself in this journey, then you won't fully succeed. Your commitment to bettering yourself can keep you going even if you want to give up.

Your motivation may not be at its peak level right now, and you may have every cell in your body screaming at you to quit. Don't do it. Prove to yourself that you can keep going no matter what. Not giving up will be worth it. The results and taking the hard way will make you a stronger person inside and out.

You can do this. You can do anything you want to accomplish if you just believe in yourself. You need to understand that becoming healthier takes endurance. There will be periods where you slow down and may not be going at your fastest pace. The difference is that you are not giving up and you are still trying and moving.

Don't treat becoming healthier as a sprint: short term and quick. That mentality will only leave you feeling deflated and defeated. It is a life-long marathon of pacing yourself and pushing yourself further than ever before.

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