I am who I am. I make the choices that I make. I live my life the way that I choose to live my life. I have been influenced by many different variables that make me the person that I am. My life follows the bio-psychosocial perspective which includes the biological characteristics about me. Also, my social culture aspects have a large influence on my life. I cannot forget psychological factors as far as my mind and how it operates. All of these factors play a large role in my decision making, perception and behaviors.
You know when people use the phrase “just keep trying” or my favorite one, “you can control it?” Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Someone’s biological factors or what they inherit in genetics could cause them to not be able to control certain things that are going on inside their body.
For example, I suffer from clinical depression. It has not been an easy thing for me at all. My serotonin levels are very unbalanced considering that I need to take a serotonin re-uptake enhancer in order to help the depression. The entire summer of my senior year I ended up losing interest in all of my favorite activities such as sports and hanging out with my close friends. I no longer wanted to go out to enjoy myself, and I ate everything in sight in order to cope with my sadness. I was a disaster.
This was one of those situations where I could not just “get over it." I needed to seek help from a therapist and then a psychologist to get me right back on track. Depression runs in my family considering one of my uncles has suffered major depression almost his whole life. Without the medicine, I would have been battling the depression 10 times worse than I do now, as it was out of my control. There was physically a chemical imbalance in my brain. The depression affects me on some days worse than others, but I continue to hang tough and make the best out of every day as much as I can.
Along with the depression, I also suffer from anxiety. When you see me I am most likely biting my nails or having a stressed out facial expression. The anxiety pairs a lot with the depression as they normally go hand in hand with one another. The medicine I take, Lexapro, has improved my anxiety greatly considering that I do not overthink things as much.
Also, it has helped me as far as realizing that I cannot stress over things that are normally out of my control. I am working on the anxiety by doing certain breathing exercises in order to help me calm down when I am having one of many panic attacks. Just like the depression, I am working on my anxiety and I have become a more relaxed person compared to what I was before.
Since I was a little baby I was diagnosed with asthma. Asthma has been a tough thing in my life since it is such a big responsibility, and you have to be very cautious with it. I’ve been playing sports since I was little and before every game, I would have to take two puffs from my little inhaler. Without my inhalers, my chest could get very tight and I could go into an asthma attack in a matter of seconds.
The inhalers are not something I can fool around with. Sometimes asthma can make me very fatigued and not as eager to exercise since my chest gets tighter in the change of seasons. I am now on four inhalers total and have to be very diligent with taking them or things could go bad. My respiratory system is healthy as long as I stay on top of the medicines I need to.
Yes I know, you are probably sitting there thinking I have a million health problems for an 18-year-old. But, the truth is I actually have a lot of positives to my health, too. I am a very hygienic person and make sure that I take my vitamins and medications I am prescribed to every day. I really like to focus on being healthy overall.
Whenever I go to the doctor they claim that I have low blood pressure which is healthy since your heart is able to pump at a steadier rate. Also, my weight is considered average and normal for my height so that means I maintain a good body mass index with not too much excess fat. Now yes, I will get sick with a cold here and there but I always make sure to do everything my doctor says to prevent illness and cure it as much as I can.
If you want to know how physically active I am you can go ask my college coach, or see how many times I check into the rec center for a workout. Being physically active is not just something I have to do, but it is something I want to do. It really has a positive effect on my mental state since it releases endorphins and causes me to feel better about myself.
I work out almost every day of the week except for Sundays. I consider myself to have a lot of energy so I try to focus that energy into something positive with a lot of benefits. Playing a sport also makes me very physically active since we are running a lot in games and practices throughout the week.
The collegiate sport that I play is field hockey. I know a select few fully understand field hockey considering the whistle is blown every five seconds, but oh boy do we run. Playing a college sport is such a great thing. You get to go into college knowing an entire team that you will most likely be close with for the next four years and maybe even more.
Being a collegiate athlete also teaches a lot of disciplines since you have to be on time for things such as practice, meetings, etc. The influence from my team is always great because they push me to be the best that I can and always work hard on and off the field. I am very thankful to be exposed to such a hard-working group of girls.
On the other hand, college isn’t just about the field hockey. It is also about many other aspects. Being in college is such a different lifestyle compared to being at home. I had to really learn to become more independent and do things that I did not do at home. I had to learn how to do my laundry, cook, and schedule and manage things. I no longer have my parents getting the job done for me.
Being in college also means you have a lot of freedom. Now that freedom could be a good thing or a bad thing. You can spend your time studying every night or going to a party and wasting away your classes and grades. In college, there is also a lot of peer pressure just like high school.
You look around and see what some kids are into and you may want to get into it yourself just because you see that it’s the “popular” thing to do at the time. I could also say being in a college environment has made me learn what balance and priorities are too. I had to juggle field hockey, school, friends, family and health altogether. That is not an easy task but it can be done if you manage your time well and are focused.
As far as the religious aspect goes, my family is very Catholic. I try my best to attend church every Sunday when I do not have other things going on. Praying and thanking God for what we have is also a very strong value in my home. My mother sometimes will even attend two masses in a weekend just to cleanse her sins or get that nice feeling of healing and redemption. Now, my family knows that not everyone is Catholic or even religious and we don’t mind that. We just like to practice our religion whether it is praying before dinner at the table or trying to not use the Lord’s name in vain. Coming from a family with religious values is a great feeling and provides a lot of positive guidance.
I am so incredibly thankful to say that I have two parents who are happily married. Do they fight sometimes? Yes, of course they do. But, that just goes to show that they care about one another. I think that having my parents still be married for 20-plus years is a big influence on me. It shows me that if I find the right person that we will be able to stick together. It also shows me that marriages are a lot of hard work but they are worth it if you genuinely do love the person. Also, it makes things easier because I can come home from school and see my parents sleeping under the same roof. I am very thankful to know I have two parents who are in love and respect one another like they should.
Along with my parents, I do have a younger brother who I am three years apart from. His name is Andrew. My brother is younger than me which means he looks up to me. I have to try my best to be a positive influence for him and expose him to things that will send him down the right path. When I am home, I try to have talks with him about high school and college and all my experiences in life. I also try to keep him out of trouble and take him places such as the movies or maybe even church with me once in a while. I want nothing but the best for my brother. Our relationship isn’t great but we are working on it as the days go by. I just try to make him realize that his decisions could impact the rest of his life.
Where do I even start with my psychological factors? I think I could write all day about these. But, I guess I could start it off with my grades. I am not an A+ student. I never have been and I most likely never will. I am the kind of student who has to sit in a library and study for three to four hours in order to get a B+ on a test. It can be a little frustrating sometimes when the kid sitting next to me who didn’t study at all has a 100 percent, but hey, that’s just life. I need to work hard on my grades. They do not come naturally to me and if I do not try or give a big effort than I will easily become a below-average student. Just because I am not naturally smart does not mean I cannot get good grades. I learned to never make excuses for myself. If I have to study all day to get a B on a test then you bet I’ll be in the library with my eyes glued to the criteria.
I have been through a lot of trauma in my life. When I was a junior in high school I fell off a roof that caused me to break my back, fracture four ribs and have a major concussion to top it all off. I was not in good conditions and had to be home schooled for about two months with a giant back brace that went from my neck to my hips. I have been very unsuccessful with past relationships with abuse physically and mentally.
I have seen things that will never make me the same. I have gone through major depression and anxiety like I mentioned before that I am still struggling with to this day. I have been through it all. Life has taken a lot away from me. But, there is something life will never get from me. That is my resilience. If you throw any curve ball at me now I will swing that bat and find a way to hit that ball into the outfield. My resilience is at “abnormal levels” as my therapist and peers would say. I have become tougher and my motto is to never give up no matter what the circumstance is. My willpower is something that can never be taken from me.
I do have my flaws. If we do not have flaws then we should be packaged up in a box with a pink lettering of Barbie across the front. My self-esteem levels are pretty much opposite to my resilience. It is weird because I come off like I have so much confidence, but that is not the case. Never judge a book by its cover, right? I tend to put myself down a lot. I am never really content with the way I look but I am currently working on that as time goes by.
My self-esteem levels play a large role in my life because they sometimes hold me back from great opportunities. For example, there may be some days where I feel awful about myself and I may not feel up to getting out of bed and getting done tasks for the day. Like I said, I have my flaws I just need to work on realizing that they are there for a reason and I can always continue to work on them like I am now.
You would think I am the most pessimistic person because of my low self-esteem. But, it is actually the opposite. I consider myself very optimistic. Whenever there is a glass, I always look at it half full. In every mistake or problem, there is something good that could come out of it. I realized that with my depression, looking at everything negative would not help me at all and just kick me even more down into the dirt.
It is a better feeling and brings a better life when you bring light into situations as much as possible. It also brings a better mentality because you are choosing to see more good instead of just the bad. It is difficult to be optimistic sometimes when you feel gravity is pulling you down too hard. But, if you practice it and realize how great it feels then it will be ten times easier to achieve.
Family values have been very important to me. They have influenced me in very positive ways, too. My family is very strong on being humble. They have always taught me that actions speak louder than words. Also, that I should not talk about my accomplishment or flaunt them because that will ruin the point of achieving them. Whenever I get an award I always try to keep it off social media since that is another form of showing and flaunting what you have.
My family values also include respect. Respect seems to be a big theme in my house. My father always taught me to respect not just anyone older than me, but the same age and younger, too. Respect is not just when you are with the person but it also counts behind closed doors and behind their back, too. Family values are important to me because they teach me things that I can take with me for the rest of my life.
After I was diagnosed with depression it made me realize how much of an effect it had on my interactions with others. I am normally a very social person, but with depression, I keep to myself a lot. The depression caused me to feel more upset and fatigued so I no longer had the energy to talk to others and I was not as willing to meet other people.
The depression also changed my personality since I became a very irritable and sad person all of the time. I no longer loved to do the things I used to and became very disrespectful towards my parents and family. Therefore, a lot of my values were also lost since I became frustrated and upset -- but I pointed the finger to my parents and peers.
The depression caused me to also become more insecure about myself since I only could see my flaws. I went from an optimist to a pessimist very quickly and it took a while to change that back again. Depression impacted me in so many ways, but I am thankful now that I have it under better control and I can be myself again.
Being physically active has been a great way to help myself. It makes me more social with others because I feel better about myself and can meet new people at the local gym I go to. Also, it helps my mental state as far as making me feel like I accomplished something after a good workout.
It also helps my overall health since it keeps my blood pressure down and makes me eat healthier too. Being active also causes me to be on more of a schedule with my time and in a demand to get things done since I know I do not have as much time on my hands, too.
It is truly an eye-opener to see how much things in our life can affect one another. That is why balancing things are so important. Keeping a good social life will help with your psychological state. Changing your personality from a pessimist to an optimist will help your mind and how it functions.
Become more of an active person to improve your overall health will greatly impact your biological state. Everything we do and everything that we have plays a very significant role in our lives. We must do our best to keep ourselves the best that we can without too much stress or demands. Our body is a chain where one thing connects to another. Just like the food chain, if one thing is out then the other cannot function. We each play the largest role in our own lives. What’s your story?
