I, like everyone else, have experienced some rough times in my life. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia in second grade, kicked out of school and forced to attend a new school, only to be moved a few months later because everyone refused to help me. I was labeled as “challenged” and placed in less rigorous classes despite the fact that I had been excelling in regular courses. I was diagnosed with Arthritis and Chronic Fatigue and have to accept that doing things I love (crafts, camping and cooking) is only going to get harder as I grow older. Taking care of a loved one only to watch them die, struggling with infertility, dealing with miscarriages, IVF, and getting a divorce are just some of the experiences that I have lived through in my brief 34 years of life. At times it felt like all of my dreams had been lost, destroyed, and I felt misplaced. I know that I am not alone, Everybody has gone through something that has changed them. They can never go back to the person they once were. I recognize that everyone’s journey is different. There are varying degrees of challenges and traumas that we will face in our lifetime. Though we will all come across experiences that cause immense pain, how we deal with these things, how we can grow from the experiences, and how we choose to treat one another in the process is what truly defines us as individuals.

I was watching a show (Rizzoli & Isles) the other day and some of the characters are dealing with PTSD. One of them was seeking help for what she was going through and I thought the show had a beautiful analogy. They took a glass (your life) and filled it with rocks (the bad things that happen in life). The rocks (the bad) filled the glass (your life), but then she poured water (good things in life) into the glass. The rocks are big and can take up a lot of space in your life, but there is a lot of good (water) in your life too! You can’t let a few rocks (bad things) get in the way of your life and distract you from all the good things (water) yet to be discovered. I feel that we, as a society, can get fixated on the bad: a bad grade on a test, a lousy day at work, a loved one passing away, and the fact that we don’t ever move past these negative experiences or changes that come as a result of the negative moments. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you should not mourn or be sad about these things; by all means cry (I have definitely shed a lot of tears), but don’t let it define who and what you are. These things are a part of us. These moments shape who we are constantly. Evolving us into who we are as people and as a society. Accept what has happened, feel your feelings, and move on with your life. Don’t let them bog you down.

I know that moving on is the hardest thing to do and will take a lot of time to accomplish, but it will be the best thing for you. Every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow. For instance: I could have let my struggle with having kids make me bitter. I could push away all of the friends and family who have children, but I don’t. Instead, I volunteer to help them out. I offer to watch their kids so they can get some time alone and go out, or even just take a much-needed nap. I help plan birthday parties, decorate nursery’s and make baby gifts. Does this mean that it fills the void of not having kids? No, but not being around kids or making others feel guilty for having kids when I do not would not make my situation any better.

I recognize that I would not be who I am today if ALL of these things had not happened to me. Would I like to be able to stop some of these things from having happened to me? Most definitely! Would I change who I am today? No! Am I saying that my life is perfect and I walk around on rainbows? Obviously not, but if it was then I would not have the opportunity to grow as a person. Life is all about growing and it’s the struggle and the bad things we overcome which shape us into stronger individuals. So please take the good with the bad, look at every challenge you get in your life as an opportunity to grow and become a better you. Always remember that “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”. Be kind. Always.

I encourage everyone! (This is a call to action, it needs to be stronger) If you are going through a challenging time in your life seek out help! Whether it be from a friend, a loved one, or a professional. This help could make all the difference! You never need to feel alone.