I spent four long, hot, Indiana summers working as a lifeguard at my beloved neighborhood pool. While every pool has different hours, different policies, and different atmospheres, the lifeguarding experience at most pools is one and the same. The following is a detailed description of the inner thoughts of a lifeguard on duty.

1. "Ahh, finally. Adult swim. Fifteen minutes of pure bliss...if these kids would hurry up and get out of the pool! Come on, Matt. Swim faster."

2. "Gotta test those chemicals before I relax – pH levels and chlorine look safe. Just doin' my job and protecting these fine citizens."

3. "OK, awesome. A full nine minutes to check my phone and reapply my sunscreen. Life is good."

4. "Back to the chair I go. Only 45 minutes until the next adult swim. Totally manageable."

5. "Aww, they're playing categories! Movies? I'm in this. The kid's talking about a fish who lives in an anemone."

6. "How do none of these kids know this movie? Come on you guys, it's "Finding Nemo."

7. "Should probably scan the pool and make sure everyone is safe."

8. "All clear. Time for five straight minutes of whistle-twirling."

9. "'Hey! Hey! NO standing up on the pool toys! Yes, you! Sit!'"

10. "Oh, he looks like he's going to cry. Please don't go talk to your mom. I'm just doing my job, lady."

11. "His mom said the lifeguard was trying to keep him safe. Thank you. She gets it."

12. "'WALK PLEASE!'"

13. "I tell the same group of kids to stop running every single day. Do they not have ears? This is not a difficult concept."

14. "My shoulders feel like they're getting burned. Yep, definitely got a sunburn situation happening."

15. "It's only been 17 minutes."

16. "There's an overweight dad on the diving board right now. Haha, all these tanning moms are gonna get soaked when he jumps in."

17. "The moms are gossiping about their kids. Ooh, this could get juicy. I know all their kids from elementary school!"

18. "Gotta scan the pool again. Everyone looks great. Honestly, all these kids are good swimmers, and the ones that aren't have their parents with them. No one's gonna drown."

19. "Knock on wood. Please, God, if you're listening, don't let one of these innocent sweet children drown. Even though they are heathens who can't follow directions."

20. "Only seven minutes left. It's all good."

21. "These kids are running again. Why isn't their mom saying anything? I am not your child's personal babysitter."

22. "Maybe I'll get a slushie on break."

23. "Time to blow the whistle. Only have to repeat this cycle three more times!"

Despite the sunburn, giving the evil lifeguard stare from the high chair, and yelling at nine-year-old boys, at the end of the day, lifeguarding was a pretty good gig. You got a good tan, leftover popcorn, and got to spend your summers at a pool instead of a fast food restaurant like all your friends. Despite the minor annoyances, there's no summer job I would have rather done.