You cannot keep doing this.

You're here and everything feels like they're in their proper place.

Like the black bookshelf.

You insert yourself between my favorite books, CDs, and squeeze yourself to tightly into my life.

You speak to me as if nothing has changed.

You hold me like I'm a delicate petal from my favorite blue flowers.

You look at me as though I am the center of everything.

You smile at me with the brightness of all the suns, stars, and moons in the universe.

Late night stories and laughs

Early morning cuddles

Afternoon laziness

Evening adventures

Late night yelling and screaming

Ah yes, just like I remembered

Waking up to screams, cursing at one another, and shit being knocked over.

Groaning and unable to sleep

Put the pillow over my face, kicking off the covers, hair a mess.

Time to stand up and be alert the rest of the night.

By morning, you knocked over the bookshelf.

My initial hopes, my favorite things, my faith in you… splayed all over the floor.

You on the couch. Her in the bathroom.

Me, feeling stupid for allowing you to take top shelf priority.

You keep doing this.

You're here and everything is out of their proper place.

Like the black bookshelf.

You forced yourself between my nightmares, fears, and squeeze yourself to tightly into the darkness of my life.

You speak to me as if nothing has changed.

You hold me like I'm a delicate petal from my favorite blue flowers.

You look at me as though I am the center of everything.

You smile at me with the brightness of all the suns, stars, and moons in the universe.

Late night sobbing and coughs

Early morning headaches

Afternoon dazes

Evening repairs

Late night yelling and screaming at myself

Ah yes, just like I remembered

Waking up in fear, cursing at myself, and for once, there's no shit on the floor.

Groaning and unable to sleep

Put the pillow over my face, kicking off the covers, hair a mess.

Time to stand up and be alert the rest of the night.