As young adults, we have it all together. We're doing fine--no, we're doing great! We totally have a plan, and if that plan doesn't work, we have plan b, c, and d...right?

...

Let me start over. As young adults, we like to think we have it all together. We're doing fine. We totally, kinda...sorta have a plan? Okay, we have a couple ideas and they're probably written on a sticky note somewhere under the pile of responsibilities we refuse to acknowledge...

We all now understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up, correct? Being an adult is hard (if you even consider us adults). There's an endless amount of responsibilities and loads of pressure on us to be successful. Also, it doesn't help that our wants and needs are constantly changing. Is it even possible to do this "growing up" thing without stress, worrying, and complete mental breakdowns? I wish I had the answer to that, but I do know that one of the first steps in growing up is figuring out what defines us.

Growing up

What do those two words really mean? Does it mean leaving our quiet hometown and venturing alone into a big city? Does it mean relieving our parents' stress and getting off their payroll? Or does it simply mean giving away our favorite toy to the neighbor kid? The truth is, growing up means something different to everyone. However, the one thing we all have in common as graduating seniors or college students, is that we are all trying to figure out who we are and the quicker we do that, the more seamless our transition will be through our "growing up" period.

Personally, I've been struggling with this thought for a while now. If you're like me, you're always on time, you always do your homework, you never allow yourself to receive poor grades, and in general, you're an extremely hard worker. You pride yourself on those facts, meaning you are defined by school. We can all relate to this idea, whether you're the most studious one in the class or not; school is a major part of our lives and shapes us into the people we'll be in the "real world."

Bye-Bye Grades

This is a dangerous thought. Lately I've been asking myself, "who will you be when there are no more assignments, tests, or projects?" Our whole lives we have been taught that grades are important, which is fine and true, except for the fact that that's all we've ever known; in a way, we've been brainwashed. I'll admit it, I enjoy being praised for how well I do on something; my confidence and self esteem shoots up. I'm sure most of you can agree with that. It's nice being noticed for something you've worked hard on. However, it's time to face the harsh reality. When we leave college, that praise diminishes because employers expect nothing less than amazing, 24/7. They are not as lenient and forgiving as our teachers. Because of this, it's easy to lose sight of our identity and purpose. We ask ourselves, "why should I even try when no one appreciates my hard work?" We can become pessimistic, self-doubting, and uninspired...So, yes, grades are important, but what happens when we don't have that anymore? What do we do? Who are we?

I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself without school in the picture. What kind of person are you? What defines [insert name here]?

Define Yourself

For me, I am defined by Christ. Yes, I go to fashion school. Yes, I drive a Volkswagen Beetle. Yes, I'm from Las Vegas , but those things are not who I am. Above all, I am a Christian and having a belief, trust, and faith in God is something that is concrete for me. Being kind, giving, selfless, and loving... that's who I am (or at least strive to be). I will always have God in my life, so I choose to let him define me.

My question for those reading is what are you defined by? Is it something concrete? Is it something that could be gone in an instant? If the latter, I suggest re-evaluating who you are. Whether you are defined by religion or not, finding an identity in something stable and unwavering is the best thing you can do. My hope for us when we're retired with nothing but time on our hands, is that we'll be content with who we are instead of sulking in the past, wishing we could be the "popular" kid again or the starting quarterback. We must accept that what we do in school is important, but it is not who we are. I am so much more than a grade on a paper, and so are you.

*Thank you Ben Chambers of Young Life USC for inspiring me to write this article.