For most everyone, we go through thirteen years of schooling. We make jokes about having spent thirteen years in jail or being dead inside (it's a joke, y'all). It seems that for every year that goes by, we have made more and more jokes about self-deprecation and self-harm. While we may be desensitized to it, we have to look at the root of the problem. What is the ONE reason we would joke about that stuff? The answer is quite clear: school.

Now, I wasn't popular or preppy; quite frankly, I didn't care. I didn't fit into any mold in high school after I quit band my sophomore year. My junior and senior year, I did dual enrollment and was able to go to the technical school for an hour and a half every day my junior year and two days a week my senior. Starting my junior year, I helped out at the local elementary school. There was a stark contrast to the well-being of those children compared to high schoolers. The kids were more happy about being in school, and they had so much fun.

Let's be realistic, we're didn't make paper bag Santas and construction paper shovels, we were 14-18 years old. High school is supposed to prepare us for the real world, but let's be real. That does NOT happen. Especially for girls. Public school systems are more worried whether the girls are in line with the dress code (99.99% of the time, they are) than their education.

Also, it seems that there are less and less good teachers each year. Yes, I know that teachers get paid squat, but you shouldn't (and can't) go into teaching for the money. Yeah, money is nice and all, but it shouldn't be the sole reason. Every year you hear of teachers who say these horrible things to students and don't help their students. I have been on the receiving end of this. People want to blame the student for not getting the information, but it's hard to get the information when the teacher who teaches it makes it difficult to learn. My sophomore year, I had a teacher refuse to help me because "[I] didn't write the notes down" or some lame excuse, but the way they taught made it hard for me to understand it. They told me to participate more, but when I asked a question, the answer was either extremely vague or they just flat out refused to answer. I spent a lot of time after school that year "tutoring" but I wouldn't call a teacher telling you to just work on the questions in the book tutoring. I DID have two other teachers that year who were WONDERFUL and actually helped me, but it didn't help me with the first class. It made me question my self-worth. If a teacher, someone who goes into teaching for the betterment of young lives, won't help me, then who will?

And don't even get me started on learning disabilities. The main reason I wasn't doing well in school was that I COULDN'T pay attention. The teachers knew this and STILL didn't help me. I had maybe three teachers that actually worked with me after I was diagnosed with a learning disability. College was a whole new ball game. Yeah, the work is hard, but there are tutors available almost all the time and most of the time the professor is willing to work with you.

Finally, graduation came. After four years of being catcalled at school, told that I was "too distracting" in my t-shirt and capri pants, the refusal of teachers to help me, the fear of not being able to graduate on time because of a medical diagnosis, and just overall hatred of how one administrator was mistreating me and being told "that's just how they are" (THAT is the problem), I was finally able to graduate. I was able to leave that excuse of a school and move over an hour away for college, which has its ups and downs, but college was a fresh start for me. I hated high school. I liked maybe a handful of teachers, some I never even had. I don't regret saying it. I will never regret saying it. High killed my self-esteem and it's an uphill battle trying to bring it back up again. For those of you who hated high school, you're not alone.