Long distance can be tough at any age, but when you’re in college and tell people you’re in a long distance relationship (or just a serious relationship in general), you get lots of eye rolls and lots of people telling you “you’re too young to be tied down” and “you have to be single to enjoy your college years”. So let me just preface this by saying I truly do not think my college experience would be any different from what it is now if I were single. I can go out and have a good time without having any desire to flirt and hook up, and that’s not because I have a boyfriend, it’s just not who I am.
Commitment: I attend Oklahoma State and my boyfriend goes to school five states away in Minnesota, but I truly think that not even going to the same college can be considered long distance, even if it’s just a 30-minute drive away. Whatever the distance may be, I believe that it so important to sit down and discuss if you are truly going to make a relationship like this work. It’s not fair to you or the other person if you aren’t taking things seriously and just stringing them along, especially if you are each making sacrifices for each other.
Trust: Clearly college is full of temptations and you really have to trust that your partner is not going to give in to those. It’s also not fair to expect your partner to stay in every single weekend just because you don’t trust them around what ever those temptations might be. I know that when my boyfriend goes out he’s not flirting and he knows the same about me. It’s something that we’ve never even had to argue about because it is just a given. However, I have plenty of friends that have had to work at building their trust with one another because it can be pretty difficult when you know your boyfriend is hanging out with other girls. I am so grateful for the level of trust in our relationship because if you don’t trust each other at all, going to different colleges is not going work.
Making time for each other: Obviously if you’re in college, you probably can’t afford to buy plane tickets to see each other every weekend. However, making some sort of plan as to when you will see each other next will make things a lot easier and you a lot happier. Even if that date isn’t for two months, it’s still something you can put in your calendar and look forward to. Our generation is also so blessed with modern technology. We’re lucky we get to text and call and face-time. Living in a sorority house means I don’t have too much privacy to face-time my boyfriend for hours on end (because that would mean forcing my roommates to listen to us), but we can always squeeze in phone calls on the way to class and text each other updates throughout the day.
Surprises: I saved the best for last because this one is my favorite. For some reason, getting packages in the mail is just ten times better when you’re a college student. I love coming home after a long day of classes and receiving one of my boyfriend’s oversized hockey t-shirts. I also relieve stress by crafting, so making little gifts and care packages to mail to my boyfriend is probably even more fun for me to make than for him to receive. Little reminders like these will make it help feel like you’re actually with your significant other and not just dating a robot.
As tricky as long distance relationships can be, they can work. You may have to put in a little extra effort, but it’s all worth it when you finally get to spend time with your boyfriend after going for (what feels like) forever without them.
