Remember that couple in high school who were going to be together forever?
“He’s my first and last love.”
“She’s the only girl I’ve ever been with.”
“Our relationships is stronger than the average one.”
These are thrown around by the consistently in the face of naysayers. They’d cite statistics they’d pull from twitter on how anywhere from 60-90% of people will meet the love of their life before they graduate high school. I don’t know who started these memes, but I’m fairly certain they aren’t back up with evidence. The apply to the same colleges so they are stay close to each other.
But the next thing you know, Suzy doesn't get into State. But she got a scholarship at a liberal arts school about four hours from John, whose landed himself a D1 baseball scholarship. But they are determined to be the ones who make it, right? They are the ones that are going to defy all odds! They have to, they’re meant to be. They'll Skype each other everyday, that’s the same thing as being in the same bed, right? They just have to make it to Thanksgiving break, that will come faster than you thought, right? Then they’ll have the holidays, and the whole summer to be together again. People have done distance before! This is the 21st century, we have ways to stay in contact 24/7. They’re relationship is strong, so there is no reason this isn’t going to work, right?
As countless Nicholas Sparks books and Hollywood will tell you, their is something utterly infatuating and romantic to having your lover in another city. I’d like to formally call bull on this theory. Yes, you might be looking at the same moon, but so are all the other god damn people in the world. And I’m not going to date someone who is living on the other side of the planet. Anyone who has ever had a long-distance relationship will tell you—it freakin’ sucks.
The monthly visits becomes bimonthly, Skype dinner-dates are missed, phone calls become less and less frequent. You watch all of you new friends enjoying the newfound hook-up scene. And then, suddenly, staying in and video chatting isn’t as appealing as it used to be. You can’t help but feel like you're missing out. Next thing you know, that cute footballer player from lab wants to take you out. And even though you feel guilty about it, you find yourself saying yes to him. And somehow, you forgot to mention it to your bae. Maybe you rush a fraternity and end up going to parties with rooms full of stunning girls in the prime of their lives. You watch your new bros get with dimepiece after dimepiece, and you can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy every time the parade of smokeshows walks past on your way to your Friday 8 a.m. lecture, slinking back to their class in a boy’s hoodie and heels. But you restrain yourself, even though all of your young testosterone is driving you to do otherwise.
College isn’t "The Notebook,"—If Allie and Noah went to school, Noah would have been making out with his floormate while he Snapchatted “miss u” to Allie. “I wrote you everyday,” becomes “Did you forget to iMessage me?,” followed by a “Read 11:34 p.m.”
Long distance relationship are hard enough, but in college, boy they take some work. If you stay together with someone from high school, or even someone who lives outside of your town, you better be freakin’ soulmates. With temptation literally across the hall (and around every corner, honestly), it takes a lot of work, trust, and tremendous amounts of maturity to keep a relationship strong when you're a couple hour drive or even a plane ride away from you S.O. Trust and maturity that, frankly, the majority of 18-22-year-olds just do not have.
I gave distance relationships a fair shot. I was the girl who got left behind when my on-again-off-again older high school boyfriend of four years went to school. I’ve had a boyfriend who went to school in Massachusetts while I went to school in Pennsylvania. I even had a boyfriend who lived three hours away in my hometown. But like most most long distance college-relationships, they all ended up with someone cheating on someone (not saying who), an unavoidable heartbreak, and frankly, a lot of wasted “going-out” nights that could have been spent making blurry and beautiful memories.
So I’ve given up on long distance. To me, long distance is “He lives on east campus, I live on west.” Anything that is more than a five minute drive is not constituted as “possible.” And it truly pains me to see my friends hanging on to their hometown boyfriends. Either, they don’t go out and stay in talking to them, or, they go out and I uncomfortably watch them grind on some random-frat bro, all the while knowing I’m going to have to be getting dinner with their boyfriend the next time he visits. I’ve seen so many couples that would have been great matches never happen because someone STILL has that girlfriend. It sad to see new experiences being missed because of an old flame that will probably burn out in a minute.
When you are surrounded by new, well, everything it’s hard to still stay interested in old news. It’s the same reason you never have “anything to wear” when your closet is overflowing with clothes and NEED to go shopping. Well girl, imagine your boyfriend is a juicy couture tracksuit from your middle schools years. Sure, it was a blast and cool when you had it, but you can’t remember that last time you put it on and felt excited. College, on the other hand, is Forever 21, endless, endless racks upon racks of clothes. Don't limit yourself to the same outfit.
During your college years, you are going to meet a butt-load of “temporary” people. Everyone graduates and gets jobs scattered all over the country, and maybe, maybe you keep in contact with your roommate on Facebook from time to time, meet up at an annual tailgate every year; but these precious college years aren’t forever. It’s a brief, blaze of glory. And commitment is not really anything that’s on anyone's to-do list. I mean, look at the people who never went out and had those “crazy college years.” It’s not a matter of if they will have a mid-life crisis, it a matter of when. Not many people are in it for the long haul, and youth is all about developing yourself, having copious amounts of fun, and not shutting yourself off (or serious regret WILL ensue).