Anyone who knows me knows that I love the beach. The salty warm breezes, the relaxing sound of the waves, the hot sand-- even the dirty, thieving sea gulls hold a special place in my heart. However, the mere thought of spending a day at one of my favorite places in the world used to make me feel nauseous. Why? Well, because a hot day at the beach meant wearing swimsuit and for me that task was not a simple as it sounds.

I'd be lying if I said I always had a super positive body image and loved the way I looked. I grew up telling myself that I wasn't pretty enough, or skinny enough, or athletic enough. I had a mental list of my own flaws that would rival Santa's naughty and nice lists in length, which led to my almost inability to put on the one article of clothing that would flaunt almost all of them: a swimsuit. Instead of absentmindedly throwing on a piece of clothing to go do something I loved, I had to psyche myself up first. The constant comparisons I was making between myself and the gorgeous people on T.V. or the girls at school who had perfect hair and perfect bodies, had taken a serious toll on my self esteem. I was missing out on things, and was so focused on how crappy I felt about myself to realize that even the people who I thought had it all together actually had insecurities of their own too.

A few days ago I was in a dressing room at my local mall when a girl in the stall to the right of me was complaining to her friend that her boobs weren't big enough to wear a certain kind of bikini top. In the stall to the left of me, another girl was complaining to her mom that her thighs were too big to wear a certain style of bathing suit. I bet each of those girls looked great in their respective bathing suits but couldn't see past their own perceptions of themselves to realize it. It's likely that if those dressing room walls could talk, they'd have more stories of insecurities and self loathing than anything else.

And where did these insecurities come from? When did we start comparing ourselves to everyone else? Who woke up one day and decided that there was a certain mold that every girl needed to fit into? Recently, Discovery Girls magazine, a publication targeted towards girls aged 8-13, ran a two-page feature titled "What Swimsuit Best Suits You?" The brightly colored spread asks the young readers to decide whether they're "straight up and down", "curvy on top" or "rounder in the middle" and pick a swimsuit that would best hide their flaws. As you can imagine, this feature drew a lot of criticism. Already at the age of 8, young girls are being asked to evaluate their bodies and start to see that there might be something wrong with them.

This pressure to look a certain way and compare yourself to others only grows as you get older. Especially around the summertime, when there's a certain image attributed to the phrase "beach body". An image that does not match the bodies of many girls, which can lead to low self-esteem and a whole host of other problems. A quick Google search for "how to get a beach body" yields over 20 million results. Among the first is an article from Vogue stating that to be beach ready "a spray tan is a must" and "to ensure that not even the smallest hair is visible in the sun, waxing is key". Not only do you have to be super toned, but you can't let anyone know your real skin color and God forbid you actually let anyone see any of your natural body hair. Didn't you know 20 something females are supposed to be the hairless cats of the human species?

Although this mindset that every single female needs to look a certain way in order to be unabashedly proud of her body is ridiculous, many of us tend to buy into that thinking anyway. Everyone grows up picking out little things about themselves they wish could change and failing to realize how great they are in so many other ways. Your tummy or pale skin or bushy hair is a part of who you are, and deserves to be loved and appreciated along with the rest of you.

So how do you get the perfect beach body? Is it through hours of intense exercise, or expensive trips to get waxed and tanned? Is it completely altering the way you look so that others will find your body acceptable? No. It comes from your own self-acceptance of who you are. Life is too short to worry about other people's perceptions of the way you look. One of my favorite quotes is "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent"-Eleanor Roosevelt. In the end, you are your own biggest critic. Every time you stop yourself from doing something you love just because you are worried about what other people might say you are giving them permission to ruin your good time. So wear that swimsuit with pride. Show off your pale skin, your natural hair, your scars, your flat chest, your stick legs, your stretch marks, your flabby arms-- every feature that makes up the confident and strong person you've worked so hard to be. Because in the end, despite what the ads or magazine articles may say, your body is a "perfect beach body" simply by virtue of being a human body.