Ah yes, the MBTA. Like your sketchy Aunt Gertrude who shows up to family parties with the best main course lasagna, you neither want to deal with her but also know you need her around. Most people in Massachusetts have a love-hate relationship with this age old pain-in-the-ass transportation system. Whether it be the commuter rail, bus, subway, or ferry, there are certain unwritten rules most passengers abide by while riding the MBTA. If you want to be the absolute worse passenger and piss off everyone around you, feel free to do these things. Otherwise, keep with your fellow passengers and don't do the following on any section of the MBTA:
1. Push yourself onto an already overly crowded subway.
We get it, you have places to get to. We all do. But the subway comes every five to fifteen minutes so if your face is going to be pleasantly jammed into my shoulder blade just so the door will close, please wait for the next train.
2. Eat Smelly Foods.
It's difficult being a busy person, I know that first hand. It's understandable if you missed breakfast and stopped at Dunkin Donuts prior to boarding. What's not understandable is why you had to get an everything bagel toasted so the whole bus reeks of garlic. Like seriously, stop.
3. Have loud conversations on your phone.
You couldn't wait till getting off the bus to call your husband? It's kind of annoying when I can hear you discussing your child's daycare over my music. In a crowded environment it's best to minimize conversation.
4. Put your feet or bags up on seats.
Unless you're some kind of royalty, you better not feel like you're privileged to have a seat to yourself, because you're not. There are actual signs on every seat to please not put feet or parcels on seat. The only time this is ever acceptable is if the train is drastically under crowded.
5. Crowd the subway door while others try to exit.
For the love of god, move to the side. People need to get off just as much as you need to get on. the conductors see you, they won't leave you if you're next to a door. Be courteous and let others off before trying to board.
6. Leave all your trash.
There's nothing worse than someone leaving their coffee cup on the seat and the remainder spilling, resulting in an unusable seat. Take your trash, it's the nice thing to do.
7. Don't give your seat up to elderly, disabled, pregnant women, etc.
Unless you check any of these descriptions, you'll be viewed as the most heartless person on the bus if you don't at least offer your seat up. I promise it won't be the end of the world if you have to stand for a few stops.
8. Bring more than a few giant bags.
It's really annoying to have someone carrying all their personal belongings on. Your absurd amount of bags takes up space for someone else to get on and bump into us every time you move around. If you really have that much stuff to carry, call an Uber.
9. Make others feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable, and trapped in a space with someone else, especially a stranger. Quit the cat-calling, name throwing, and inappropriate touches on the MBTA...actually anywhere for that matter.
10. Don't be ready when the conductor asks for your ticket.
There's nothing more obnoxious than someone looking doe-eyed at the conductor when they ask for tickets. You know you'd have to pay! have your ticket ready for collection to make it easy. Watching someone buy their ticket on their phone while the conductor watches is probably the most disrespectufl thing I've seen. What, did you think he wouldn't ask you to pay?
