I define identity as how you want others to view you as well as how you view yourself based on your cultural beliefs, morals, values, traditions and more. Identity requires growth and I believe my name molded that for me. Growing up, I never wanted to be identified as a child of African descent because of how I would be perceived by my classmates and teachers, and the stigma that goes along with being African. At that point in time, I did not fully develop my identity, it was impaired. My name was different and is different than everyone I have met's because my name comes from my origin. Being a child with parents from Cameroon and its uniqueness mold the uniqueness I see in my own individual being. Each time a teacher would mispronounce my name, my classmates would chuckle, as I also would in order to play along.
Now that I am proud of my name, and now that I have awareness about how much power I uphold with my name, no one will mispronounce my name without being corrected. Countless times I have made the mistake of asking people to call me pet names such as Em, E and more because I did not want to face the catastrophe them of mispronouncing my name. However, now, just as I learn people's names, they will learn mine. Because not knowing my name is equivalent to being lost and distal from my identity and isolated with how I view myself.
My parents were given Christian names because their religion deemed they would only be baptized under the circumstances of having names that were American or European. There are many Larry's and many Catherine's, and therefore they do not set themselves apart in this world through their names, but I do. My middle name is Catherine, and I am named after my mother. I easily could have identified as this name and been asked to be called that because that is what society perceives as "normal," or what is accepted.
However, they named me Emadeh (Uhm-ma-day), so that I could set myself apart and uphold the power, the power they bestowed upon me. There is no such thing as a "normal name" and every name is of importance. I made the mistake of giving people the freedom to call me other names besides my real name because I was fearful of how they would abuse my identity.
But I'm no longer fearful. I don't mind being called nicknames, but it is important for people to know and pronounce my name, because my name molds who I am, and has made me the strong, independent, beautiful, intelligent individual I am today!
