How Music Saved Me And Continues To Do So
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

How Music Saved Me And Continues To Do So

An ode to the tunes that pulled me through.

How Music Saved Me And Continues To Do So

Things were never quite easy for me. Bullying started in elementary school, and continued through middle school, then finally ended in high school. The insecurity and self-hatred started somewhere in the midst. The anxiety and depression picked up with all of the rest. Therapy didn’t help, and I didn’t want medicine. But I was surviving. I was going out with friends, I was laughing, I was going to softball practice, I was passing all my classes. I made it. I look around at others around me who have or have had similar problems and saw that they ended up in a much darker place than I am. I always wondered what gave me strength. But now that I’ve grown, I can see what it was, and what it still is.

It’s music. Music has saved me. Music has got me through sessions of crying over nothing for hours at a time. Music has saved me from shallow, fast breaths on a train during a random panic attack. Music helped me when I was nine years old and came home from school crying because a boy on my bus thought it’d be funny to spit in my face. Music cheered me up when my beloved Papa died and I didn’t know how to feel.

One of my earliest memories with music was during the funeral/wake of my great grandmother. I was between four and six years old. I sat on the piano in the funeral home and proceeded to sing “Tomorrow” from Annie. I don’t remember doing this, and I don’t recall why I did it, but I did. And safe to say everyone smiled in that room, even if it was only for a minute. That memory has taught me how much music really can heal. I remember whenever I would cry over anything when I was younger I would sing through the tears. It’d almost always be Glee’s version of “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin… “Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come shining through for you.” I would maybe cry for a little bit longer, but I would brush it off and continue with my day.

As I got older, the anxiety and depression never went away. It got worse towards the end of senior year and on. This past summer, the anxiety was the worst it’s ever been. But I had to suck it up. I had a job, I had a relationship that I needed to keep strong, I had tasks to accomplish for school in January, I had plans to travel… basically, I had to get sh-t done. And when you have to get things done, you have no time for anxiety or depression.

But it catches up with you. On the bus home from work I would think about all my regrets in life and how I should've never made those mistakes and how I’m the worst person in the world and basically just every terrible thought. I would get lightheaded and dizzy everyday and I would struggle to breathe and I would look around me and feel like the whole world was going to collapse right on top of me.

But it didn’t. I just opened my phone to my album of videos, and watched the video of my family singing around the piano at our Saint Patrick’s Day party. I opened my Spotify app and got myself pumped up listening to Chance the Rapper or Kanye West or Tory Lanez. I shut my eyes and listened to the Lumineers or Matt Corby (pictured above), and dozed off. And I survived, and I cleared my mind, and I decided - maybe I should try therapy and medicine. So I did.

I may not be where I want to be yet. But I’m here. I’m mentally sane. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I’m not reckless. I fought through everything I went through. A lot of credit for me fighting through goes to the support of my mom, family and friends. But a lot goes to music.

Thank you, music.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Black History Month? Try Black History Year

What does Black History Month mean to you?


African Americans have done so much and will forever be remembered for their accomplishments. In my opinion, there is no such thing as Black History Month. All year, we should celebrate the amazing poetry, music, inventions, and accomplishments that has surfaced over the last 100 years. Let's take a look...

Keep Reading... Show less

A TikTok Ban? Nope, That's Not Happening

We've seen this movie before with the popular social media app.


Here we go again. There's a groundswell of support to ban TikTok in the United States.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Check out what's trending on Odyssey!

writing on a page with a hand holding a pen as if the person is beginning to write something

Looking for some inspiration to kick off your Monday? Check out these articles by our talented team of response writers! From poetry to tips for manifesting your dream life, there's something for everyone.

Keep Reading... Show less

Exploring the Superbowl's Historic 50 Year Legacy!

Building up to next Sunday

football game
astros / Flickr

The Superbowl is the biggest football event of the year, and the 50-year history of the competition has seen a lot of memorable moments. The event first began in 1967, when the first AFL-NFL World Championship Game was played in Los Angeles. Since then, the NFL has grown from a small regional competition to an international phenomenon. Over the course of the last 50 years, the Superbowl has seen some amazing plays, memorable moments and incredible records. This includes Tom Brady's record of five Superbowl titles, the first time the Patriots won three consecutive championships, and the Steelers' record of six Superbowl titles. The event has also become a cultural phenomenon, with millions of people tuning in each year to watch the big game. There are now commercials, halftime shows, and other events that make the Superbowl a true American spectacle.

Keep Reading... Show less
11 Genres Of Music That Originated From Black Culture

Numbers don't lie, up in the charts many times, black culture has defined the music industry. Music is a worldly language that can be understood by people all over the world. You bet black culture has taken over the music industry, but not from the way you may think. I'm not talking about their prominent presence in the rap game, but the origins of eleven different genres of music. Black culture is always using their heritage and ancestral knowledge to transmute the current energy to a higher frequency. Personally, I'm not surprised that many of these music genres have originated from black culture. Thankfully, I've been able to grow up in a diverse environment. I can only thrive in a diversity of friends.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments