Going home for winter break is like a great sigh of relief. You return home triumphant; the grueling week of finals is behind you and your first semester is under your belt. You're ready to curl up next to the fireplace with your family and hibernate until next semester. Your house has never felt more like a home and you're psyched to shower with bare feet. But wait, you soon realize that something isn't quite right. Although the first semester was a struggle to get through and you couldn't wait for it to be over, you realize that school has become your home away from home and you suddenly can't wait to go back.
Being home for the break isn't totally awful. Hands down, the greatest part about being at home is having the freedom to shower without shoes on. You don't even have to take a shower caddy with you (because you probably left it at school) and shaving your legs is about 98 percent easier when you're in your own shower and not squeezed into a tiny stall. On top of that, you can do your laundry for free and not end up with someone else's random sock in your pile (which is pretty disturbing, if you think about it). You get to finally eat real homemade food, which your digestive tract is probably begging for by now. Plus, holiday food is especially good because your mom probably goes all-out to impress all of the relatives you're entertaining. While you're having separation anxiety from your school friends, it's refreshing to see all of your high school friends that you've been missing these past few months. Even though you've been apart for a semester, nobody knows you like your old friends and there's nothing like getting the gang back together.
Being home also means that you have a whole room to yourself (unless you have to share a room with a twin or sibling, then I extend my deepest sympathies). Going back to your old room isn't all fun and games, though. It's not the same as when you left it three months ago; it's now being used as a storage container and nothing is in the right place anymore. It's startling at first, but you realize that your dorm room feels more like your room than this storage closet. When you make this realization, you start to miss your room at school and everything that comes with it.
You don't just miss your room at school, you miss your friends, too. You've never been separated by this much distance before; you've only ever been a 10-foot walk from each other's door. Now, only an hourlong car ride can unite you. You can't just walk out of your room and go knock on their door anymore. You turn on each other's location status on the Find My Friends app and cry at how much blank space there is between you. You're forced to text and Snapchat, counting down the days on your imaginary calendar until you return home for your second semester. You probably never thought that you could make friends that you miss so much after only a semester, but you did. They've been by your side every single day for three months and now that they're not, you realize how much you actually need them. So while you may be home for the holidays, you can't help but feel like something (or someone) is missing.
Your home will always be yours and coming back to it will always be sweet and nostalgic, but now your heart is split. When you return home, you're a new person who does adult things and when you go back to your old room it just feels like everything is a little out of place. Sure, you missed your mom's cooking and having your own washing machine, but you start to miss your home away from home, too.
